What Really Matters

2012 ??

2011-12-29T07:48:00.000-08:00

As 2012 is just around the corner, I can’t help but wonder what we’ll say a year from now when we look back. Will the world end on 12-12-12 ? Going out on a limb, I’ll say probably not.Here’s my hope…. that 2012 will be a watershed year – for Gladney as we celebrate our 125th anniversary, for the field of adoption as we confront a myriad of challenges and opportunities, and for our country as we face a critical election in November.When I look back over my lifetime at what I consider watershed years for American society as a whole, I think of 1968, 1980 and 2000. All were election years and all were Olympic years. As is 2012. Is another watershed year in store for us ? For ourselves and for Gladney, we can make it so.

Christmas in Colorado with the Family

2011-12-25T20:43:00.001-08:00

Christmas Carols

2011-12-12T12:22:00.000-08:00

Just about everyone has their list of favorites, so here’smy top 10 list:

10. Here Comes Santa Claus

9. Little Drummer Boy (Bing Crosby and David Bowie)

8. Santa Claus Is Coming to Town (Bruce Springsteen version)

7. I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas

6. I’ll Be Home for Christmas

5. O Come All Ye Faithful

4. Joy to the World

3. Silent Night

2. O Holy Night

1. Hark the Herald Angels Sing

Over-rated are:

In Excelsis Deo

The First Noel

It Came Upon a Midnight Clear

Deck the Halls

We Wish You a Merry Christmas

Jingle Bells

Do you share my opinion or have I ticked you off with myover-rated list ?

Top 10 Misconceptions about Adoption

2011-11-18T07:24:00.000-08:00

by Frank Garrott

Each year thousands of people in the U.S. recognize and celebrate the creation of “forever families” on National Adoption Day. While adoption has existed for nearly as long as the human race, even today many longstanding myths and misconceptions about adoption linger. As we mark National Adoption Day on Nov. 19, here are some adoption misconceptions that should be put to rest.

Birth parents are not allowed any contact with their child once adoptions are finalized. In most cases, it is up to the birth parents to choose whether to have an “open” adoption or a “closed” adoption. In open adoptions, birth parents and adoptive families elect to learn about each other’s identities and backgrounds, and may remain in contact with each other throughout the child’s life. The degree to which this occurs varies, but the birth parents play a key role in determining the level of engagement.

Placing a child for adoption is a sign of weakness. Many birth parents confront the “pressure to parent” from influencers in their lives. Some are even led to believe if they choose adoption that they don’t love their child. The fact is that adoption is one of the most courageous decisions birth parents can make – believing that placing their child for adoption will ultimately lead to a better life for their child.

Birth mothers who grieve after placing their child for adoption made the wrong decision. The pressure to parent has a counterpart post-adoption. Observers often assume that a birth mother’s sense of grief or loss post-placement is indicative that she feels guilty and regrets her decision. In truth, most birth mothers do experience sadness after placing a child for adoption, but that grief does not typically equate to guilt. The sense of guilt is usually ascribed by outsiders. In fact, grieving is a healthy part of the healing process, and leading adoption facilities, such as the Gladney Center for Adoption, provide information, tools and support to help birth mothers cope with grief post-placement.

Birth mothers who are familiar with the adoption process are less likely to choose adoption. The level of one’s exposure to adoption is a key factor in a person’s decision about whether to place their child for adoption. In fact, the more someone has been exposed to adoption, the more likely they will choose adoption as an alternative to parenting or abortion. This underscores the need for adoption education programs.

Older adoptive children are so broken that they will never heal post-adoption. It’s a common belief that older children may be so traumatized from their past situations that they can never attach to an adoptive parent. It is true that many older children have suffered abuse, neglect or have been shuttled from one foster home to another, and they often display negative behaviors as a result. But no child is “beyond repair” and most adoptive children will successfully attach to their parents when they are placed with a loving family. Education is profoundly important when adopting an older child and the Gladney Center for Adoption is committed to ensuring adoptive parents are prepared for that journey.

Special needs adoptive children always have severe mental or physical handicaps, or health issues as well. Just as with non-adoptive special needs children, adoptive special needs children vary in the level of medical or other care they may require. The fact is there are many, many healthy infants and children available for adoption, both domestically and internationally.

International adoption is easier and cheaper than domestic adoption. It is commonly perceived that people choose to adopt internationally because it is cheaper and easier than in the U.S. With international adoptions, typically adoptive parents have to spend weeks in the country where they plan to adopt – sometimes for multiple visits. The travel costs and the time away from work often results in a higher overall cost to adopt. The fact is most people who choose to adopt from a foreign country feel a particular affinity with that nation and the children there.

Adoption is prohibitively expensive. Adoption fees can be expensive for parents, but the real costs of an adoption often exceed an agency’s fee, especially among non-profit agencies who provide living arrangements, medical care and or counseling for the birth mothers. Even with traditional fee-based adoptions, agencies will typically work with parents to establish a sliding-scale fee, and many adoptive parents are currently eligible to receive a $13,000 US federal tax credit. It’s also important to note that adoptions can be nearly cost-free, especially if adoptive parents consider adopting an older child from within the foster care system or a special-needs child.

Adoption takes years and years to complete. The adoption process is complex and there are multiple waiting periods – waiting to be approved as an adoptive parent, waiting for a match and waiting until you take custody of your child. However, depending on the type of adoption someone is choosing, the wait time for adoption can be as little as 12 to 18 months.

Adoptive families face the same challenges as biological families. Adoptive families, whether a child has been adopted at birth or at a later stage in their life, experience many of the same joys and challenges as biological families. However, they also experience joys and challenges that may be unique to adoptive families. That’s why the Gladney Center for Adoption provides a host of educational and counseling services for all parties to an adoption – the adoptees, adoptive parents and birth parents – for their lifetimes. Our Pathways program ensures that forever families can count on us for support in their adoption journeys – forever.

A Calling or a Career

2011-07-26T07:53:00.000-07:00

I recently finished reading Richard Stearns’ book, “The Hole in Our Gospel”, which is one of the best books I have read in years. On page 93, he quotes Pastor John Ortberg:

“American society does not talk much about calling anymore. It is more likely to think in terms of career. Yet, for many people a career becomes the altar on which they sacrifice their lives.

A calling, which is something I do for God, is replaced by a career, which threatens to become my god. A career is something I choose for myself; a calling is something I receive. A career is something I do for myself; a calling is something I do for God. A career promises status, money or power; a calling generally promises difficulty and even some suffering - and the opportunity to be used by God. A career is about upward mobility; a calling generally leads to downward mobility.”

I do think people can be called to the for-profit world just as they are called to non-profit service and people in the non-profit community can treat their vocation as a career or a calling.

I can confidently say that at Gladney, most of our staff views their jobs as a calling. And the way Pastor Ortberg describes a calling captures well the mindset and heart of our staff.

2011-06-30T07:16:00.001-07:00

I'll be in D.C. from July 5 - 8 attending the National Council for Adoption's annual conference. Gladney co-founded NCFA in 1980.

2011-06-29T07:51:00.001-07:00

This Thursday, I will be a guest on Andrea Harrington's radio blog at 2:00PM Central time talking about the challenges that adoptive parents face, as well as the adoption community as a whole. Stay tuned for info on how to join in.

Morale

2011-06-15T07:05:00.000-07:00

As everyone in the field of international adoption is aware, placements from Ethiopia have slowed dramatically in 2011 and the outlook remains unsettled. As a non-profit organization which has been focused on building families for 125 years, Gladney plans to continue our noble mission for the next 125 years. In order to be in a position to do so, we have been forced to reduce staff. Any time an organization reduces staff, morale is impacted, perhaps even more so in a close-knit social work environment.

So we are taking steps to strengthen morale. At a recent staff meeting, we posed the questions: What does great morale look like and how can we get there?

It prompted me to personalize the question – What does great morale look like for me? When is my morale at its peak?

My morale is highest when:

• I am making a difference for an organization that is making a difference
• I feel valued and appreciated; my contribution is recognized
• There are reasons to be optimistic about the organization’s direction
• I enjoy my co-workers
• The work environment is fun
• I feel like I’m part of a team that is pulling in the same direction
• I’m proud to tell people who I work for
• There is shared ownership and a sense of urgency in the mission
• I have confidence in the integrity and vision of leadership

Question

2011-06-13T07:50:00.000-07:00

Does a child’s right to a family trump a country’s right to a child or vice versa ?

Orphanages

2011-04-08T08:07:00.000-07:00

I recently returned from a 10-day trip to Ethiopia. Meeting US and Ethiopian government officials; encouraging staff; speaking at a conference; seeing projects we fund, etc.

The memories that linger, however, are visits to orphanages and foster care centers. To be candid, I usually feel a bit uneasy just before I walk into an orphanage. My family and close friends who have known me for many years would probably say that I’m among the least likely people to connect with orphans.

That’s why I’m so convinced that God walks beside me during these visits. Once I put my foot in the door, something awakens inside – I go from anxiety to excitement at being used to bring some small measure of joy to these kids. I become a kid again and really have a blast playing with them.

When we were at the orphanage in Hawassa, the caregivers finally took the kids in for dinner. It was like I was playing in my backyard again and Mom said it’s time to come in. I wanted to set my watch back like I used to years ago so I could keep playing, although that never did work too well.

So our time at the orphanage comes to an end. I do wonder if we’ve simply created chaos with our arrival and departure or if perhaps we have brought them some degree of hope. In any event, I get back in an air-conditioned car and begin to think about heading home in a few days to be with my family.

These children…… their smiles fade, their loneliness returns, and if their spirits aren’t broken, they may dream of finding a family and a real home someday.

Poverty

2011-03-31T12:51:00.000-07:00

It’s fairly well-known, but still shocking, that over 1 billion people survive on less than a dollar per day. I saw several of them in the last week while I was in Ethiopia – from the women in rural areas carrying huge stacks of wood on their backs to people of all ages foraging through trash at the large dump on the outskirts of Addis Ababa. For me, the ability to put individual faces and stories with the statistics brings a much greater sense of urgency to the problem.

I agree with former Treasury Secretary, Robert Rubin, that all decisions are based on probability analysis, at least implicitly.

As I watched humans compete with vultures and goats for scraps at the dump, I was struck by the notion that these destitute people are conducting their own probability analysis – the risk of starving to death against the risks associated with eating rotten, diseased garbage.

Tougher choices than what we face, huh ?

I wanted to avert my eyes, but instead I just focused intently on these helpless people, trying to burn the images in my conscious, so they don’t fade.

But some may not be completely without hope, because through the generosity of several of our Gladney families, a program to provide nourishing food for the elementary school age children who otherwise would be working with their parents to pick through garbage is being implemented. This program will also enable them to attend school and potentially break the cycle of poverty, at least in their families.

Turning 60 !

2011-03-14T07:57:00.000-07:00

No, not me! I have a much older sister who is entering her 7th decade and I believe she would want me to ask all my friends to share in her joy during the sunset years of her life. I could think of no more fitting way to get the word out than to write a post on my blog.

I don’t feel old at all, until I think about having a 60-year old sister!

We were the classic younger brother / older sister growing up. I did everything in my power to annoy her and I was very good at it. Her response was this look that said “you are so disgusting”.

Actually, we became quite close over the years, based in large part on our shared Christian faith. She helped pray me in, although I came kicking and screaming.

Happy Birthday, Dorinda, and don’t worry, there’s no sign in your yard this time.

Intercountry Adoption

2011-03-09T16:51:00.000-08:00

Intercountry adoption (ICA) is non-existent, statistically speaking. Last year, just over 11,000 children were adopted into the U.S. from other countries. The world’s orphan population is variously estimated between 143,000,000 and 163,000,000 with some estimates even higher. You do the math - less than .01%.

Yet so much time, thought and other resources go into shaping and reshaping agreements, laws, regulations and procedures governing ICA, as well as continuous, sometimes acrimonious, sometimes self-serving debate on the “best interest of the child”.

Many of us in the field of ICA are working to change this .01%, but consciously or not, we’re simply working at the margins to address a problem of enormous magnitude.

Let’s just throw in the towel. Let’s redeploy all of our efforts to another noble cause, or……

Let’s get serious and confront the fundamental challenges and barriers, and bring about systemic change so that ICA truly becomes a viable part of the solution to the orphan crisis rather than a statistical footnote.

Will we be content if ICA addresses .02% of the problem by 2020? I know I won’t. A reasonable target is 1%. This can happen if 1) the adoption community takes a hard line against any behaviors we witness that are not grounded in absolute integrity, and 2) we align our priorities with those of the countries where we work.

Memorable Quotes

2011-02-28T08:26:00.000-08:00

“The best time to plant an oak tree was twenty years ago; the second best time is now.”

“The great tragedy of the average man is that he goes to his grave with his music still in him.” (Longfellow)

“If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.”

In different ways, these quotes are driving to a similar theme – reminding us to live purposely; live passionately; live intentionally.

Leadership

2011-02-18T06:30:00.000-08:00

“You’re not leadin’ if no one’s followin’.“ Most of us have heard this statement or a variation. I think it’s true…to a point. Occasionally, a person or an organization has to stand alone and lead from conviction even if theirs is a single voice. I’m reading Eric Metaxas’s powerful biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a Christian martyr who stood up to Hitler and the complicit German church and was executed for his defiance just before the end of the war. Bonhoeffer “stood in the gap” and paid for it with his life. Though he has been dead for over 60 years, he still speaks today through his written words and his life that backed them up. A man of deep conviction and a courageous leader.

Whether an individual or an institution, I believe leadership can be summed up as follows: Bold in Vision; Disciplined in Execution; Humble in Spirit.

Gladney has been a leader in the field of adoption for 125 years. We aim to continue that legacy by being bold, disciplined and yes, even humble, as an organization.

How do you define leadership?

An Excellent Movie

2011-01-24T08:37:00.000-08:00

Have you seen “The King’s Speech”? It’s the story of King George VI, who became king when his older brother abdicated the throne to marry Wallis Simpson. George VI, who was known as Bertie before he became king, had a serious stuttering problem and had no interest in being king with all the public speaking it entailed. But he rose to the occasion in one of the most critical times in British history – just before and during World War II.

The story is really about friendship, his with a commoner, his speech therapist. At a deeper level, it is a story about how one person can truly speak life into another person. Sadly, the reverse is just as true. Bertie was hampered by cruel and discouraging comments from those around him, especially his father and brother. But when someone came along and spoke encouragement into his life, he came alive and realized his full potential, as England rallied around him as their symbolic leader at the hour of their greatest need. He gained his voice both literally and figuratively.

Speak words of life into those around you this week. And go see this movie !

Martin Luther King, Jr.

2011-01-15T09:50:00.000-08:00

Walking past a TV screen, very few things will cause me to stop and adjust whatever my current plans had been – perhaps a favorite movie that I hadn’t seen in a long while, like “Remember the Titans”, “Hunt for Red October”, “Dr. Zhivago”. Or a sports event deep in the archives – 1 of the 3 Ali-Frazier title fights, the 1958 Baltimore Colts – New York Giants overtime championship game. Or a speech…

Specifically, one speech – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr’s “I Have a Dream” speech delivered on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in 1963. Given the content, his delivery, the size of the crowd, and the context (the turmoil in the country at the time), I think it was the greatest speech in my lifetime and one of a handful of the best speeches in American history. It’s only 17 minutes – you can just read it and choke up. Words matter, especially when delivered eloquently with conviction and backed by action.

We talk about impact at Gladney. That speech had impact that continues to reverberate almost 50 years later. We are proud to celebrate the memory of Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Science"

2011-01-03T15:38:00.000-08:00

I recently read a list of 300 scientific facts, mainly about humans and animals. Here are my 5 favorites:

“There are about 32 million bacteria on a square inch of your body, most of which are harmless.” ‘most of which…’ - is that supposed to make us feel better ?

“Pigs sunburn easily.” This is kind of sad since all they do is lie around in the sun.

“You’re more likely to have a heart attack on Monday than any other day.” Makes sense.

“Humans typically fall asleep within seven minutes.” I’m bringing up the average.

“You can’t lick your elbow.” I suggest you try this when no one can see you.

The New Year is Here !

2010-12-31T09:46:00.000-08:00

We got a call about 10:05 this morning (December 31) from our son and daughter-in-law in China. It was 5 minutes after midnight (January 1, 2011) there, so the New Year is already rolling in around the world.

It makes me think of New Year’s resolutions. On just a few occasions, I’ve set out to keep New Year’s resolutions. My average failure date has been around January 15.

What I usually do about this time each year is pull out my “bucket list”, which I created 20 years ago, before the term existed, I think. I’ve got about 50 items on it that I want to do before I die. World Series – done; Christ statue in Rio – done; Great Wall of China – done; attend all 4 major golf tournaments – done; travel to Israel – not done; write a book – not done; become fluent in another language – not done, not even close.

If I live to an average old age, I can probably finish the list by doing about one a year. It would be nice to know how long we’re going to live… sort of. However, since we don’t, I think we should heed the word of encouragement in Psalm 90 – “teach us to number our days”. My aim in 2011 is “to number my days” – to make each day count.

What’s your 2011 aim or resolution; what’s on your bucket list ?

MTV

2010-12-22T16:02:00.000-08:00

Last night, Gladney was mentioned a couple of times and our website shown briefly on MTV’s show 16 and Pregnant. When I first learned that we were working with MTV, I was nervous about how we and adoption would be portrayed.

Wow ! My first reaction was simply relief. Then it just got better from there, as the show was so well done, even though the ultimate outcome was a bit different from the norm, but I don’t want to ruin the ending for you.

The Gladney references were nice, but what was even more powerful was the performance of our caseworker, Ashley Whiteside, and ultimately the poignant story itself.

The birthmom, also named Ashley, was of course confronted with an unplanned pregnancy. The show chronicled her emotional ups and downs during her pregnancy and after her delivery, focusing on the difficulty of her decision.

This episode of 16 and Pregnant vividly depicted 2 things for me:
• How much a birthmother loves her baby and the anguish involved in making a selfless decision
• The difficulty of being a teenage single mom who cherishes her baby, but also desires independence and the future she had been planning

I watched the show with my wife and college-age adopted daughter and it sparked some interesting discussion in our home. If you watched it, I trust it sparked some discussion in your home as well. If you missed it, I’m told you can watch at mtv.com.

CCAA

2010-12-21T11:42:00.000-08:00

CCAA – China Centre of Adoption Affairs. To those of us in the field of international adoption, CCAA is an imposing, almost intimidating, institution, as they oversee all adoption activity in China.

On my recent trip to China, I had the pleasure of traveling to Beijing to visit with CCAA’s management team, led by Director-General Zhang. After lunch, a 4-hour meeting and dinner, I came away with 4 observations:

• CCAA is imposing.

• The leadership, and I’m sure the staff, of CCAA care deeply about the vulnerable children of China and are passionate about their well-being and about the international adoption community handling everything we do with absolute integrity.

• CCAA’s leadership team is fun and enjoys a good laugh (often at my expense). “What happens in Beijing stays in Beijing.”

• Finally, and not surprisingly, our own China treasure, Gongzhan Wu, knows everyone at CCAA.

It was a memorable, but exhausting, day. I flew back to Shanghai late that night and fell asleep at the gate, barely rousing myself for the final call to board. Otherwise, I might still be in China.

The Carols Say It Best

2010-12-19T14:18:00.000-08:00

“The hopes and fears of all the years are met in Thee tonight.”

“Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope; a weary world rejoices.”

“Light and life to all He brings; Risen with healing in His wings.
Mild He lay His glory by; Born that man no more may die.
Born to raise the sons of earth; Born to give them second birth.”

Joy to the world, the Savior reigns !
He rules the earth with truth and grace.”

“Word of the Father, now in flesh appearing;
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ, the Lord.”

“King of Kings and Lord of Lords; King of Kings and Lord of Lords !
Hallelujah ! Hallelujah ! Hallelujah !

George W. Bush's Gladney Plug

2010-12-16T11:13:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading President Bush’s book, Decision Points. I can see why it’s received such favorable reviews from his supporters and critics alike. Besides giving the reader a real peek under the tent, it is a balanced account of his presidency, in which he humbly acknowledges things he might have done differently as well as the accomplishments for which he is justifiably proud.

Of course, my favorite part of the book comes early (page 28, to be specific), where he mentions that he and Laura approached Gladney before ultimately giving birth to their twin daughters.

President Bush states: “We were fortunate to know about a wonderful agency called the Edna Gladney Home in Fort Worth. Founded by a Methodist missionary in 1887, Gladney had become one of the premier adoption homes in the world.”

He concludes this episode by noting their trepidation in contacting Ruby Lee Piester with news of their pregnancy and her thoughtful response.

Thank you President Bush for your Gladney endorsement ! Should you ever run for office again, you’ll be relieved to know that you can count on my endorsement as well !

Shanghai Children’s Home

2010-12-14T12:39:00.000-08:00

I just spent two weeks in China and Taiwan. One of the highlights was a tour of the Shanghai Children’s Home, an orphanage that houses over 600 children of all ages, most with special needs ranging from very minor to more serious. I was able to witness the deep commitment of the Home’s leaders and the passion of their care-givers. Most importantly, I saw many of the children.

Every time I visit an orphanage, I think to myself that these are the cutest children ever and that proved to be the case once again at the Shanghai Children’s Home. When you enter a room with about 20 three-year old orphans, you just want to embrace them all and give them a dose of fatherly affection. Invariably, one really captures your heart. For me, this time it was a smiling little boy who playfully pointed his “gun” (thumb and index finger) at me. I did the same back to him and he laughed and I was hooked. It was hard to leave.

I am so grateful for the work of the Shanghai Children’s Home and the support they receive from the Chinese government. It makes me proud that Gladney has worked with the Home for nearly fifteen years and that Gladney parents have volunteered at the Home.

I’m pleased to announce that we are formalizing our partnership with the Shanghai Children’s Home and will work even closer together in the future.

Christmas in China

2010-12-13T14:45:00.000-08:00

Few things in life can compare to the joy of sharing in a worship service with Christians from all over the world. Yesterday, my wife Rebecca, son Phillip, daughter-in-law Katie and I participated in a Christmas service in China. Singing “Joy to the World” and “Hark, the Herald Angels Sing” with Christians from over 30 countries was very moving, as was the pastor’s message on joy – the importance of recognizing that we serve a joyous God.

I’m fortunate to have had the opportunity to worship with Christians in Russia, China, Germany, Ethiopia and other countries, as well as at the UN, and experience first-hand the truth of Revelation 7:9, which says: “…a great multitude, from every nation and all tribes and peoples and tongues, standing before the throne…”

For me and Rebecca, yesterday’s service was especially poignant, knowing that we would be saying our good-byes to Phillip and Katie right after the service and not see them again until July. Although Rebecca’s tears were a little more free-flowing than mine, I’ll confess to a constant lump in my throat and the occasional use of my handkerchief to wipe away my tears.

Perhaps the most memorable part of yesterday’s service were the children’s choirs, representing many countries. As proud fathers popped up all over the church to get good pictures, I was struck once again by the realization of how similar we all are. Just about every parent in the world wants the same thing – to see their children grow in character, live in peace and freedom, and have the opportunity to flourish.

Client Satisfaction

2010-11-16T16:40:00.000-08:00

Client satisfaction is taken very seriously at Gladney. But what organization doesn’t say that ? Just over 2 years ago, we upgraded our approach to assessing client satisfaction by engaging an outside firm to survey our clients several times a year.

We’ve learned a lot from this process. First and foremost, we mainly have very satisfied clients, who are likely to recommend Gladney to a friend. This is quite gratifying. And no, we don’t hand them a survey minutes after they’ve received placement of their baby or older child ! We’re not trying to game the system.

But the offsetting reality is that not everybody is happy with us all the time. We really scrutinize the survey data, seeking to uncover any systemic issues. What we’ve learned lately is that while we communicate often enough, Gladney should be the initiators of the communication more often.

Occasionally we receive feedback about the overseas experience, such as “my dinner wasn’t cooked quite right”, “the shower was cold”, “the internet connection was spotty”. To that, I simply say: Welcome to travel in the developing world.

Gladney strives to do our very best on the things over which we have control and we’ll never take the view that we have “arrived” with respect to client satisfaction. We’re always looking to improve. The adoption process, domestic or international, is an emotional one. At Gladney, we want to do everything possible to smooth the ups and downs, even providing hot water, a well-cooked meal and a reliable internet connection when we can !

National Adoption Month

2010-11-10T12:46:00.000-08:00

November has always been one of my favorite months – the weather, Thanksgiving, football, although the football season is essentially over for me as a diehard Longhorns and Cowboys fan. I’m already looking ahead to March Madness and baseball’s Opening Day.

Back to another reason that I like November - it’s National Adoption Month ! At Gladney, we are celebrating in so many ways. It is a wonderfully intense month for us. The calendar seems to have multiple events every day. This was especially true last Sunday, which was Orphan Sunday.

Sunday evening, I had the opportunity to serve as keynote speaker for an orphan concert featuring Aaron Ivey and Bernie Calcote. Several hundred from the Christian community in Austin were in attendance and it was a wonderful night. I brought the average age up by 10 or 15 years. I wore jeans, of course, but I couldn't bring myself to untuck my shirt.

Here are my remarks. I hope you enjoy them and that you will respond to the Call to Action, if you haven’t already become involved in the orphan care movement.

Gladney's Values

2010-11-01T13:25:00.000-07:00

Clear, well-communicated values reflect the convictions of an organization.

Gladney values INTEGRITY above all; is built on pillars of PASSION and DEDICATION; and is driven by COMPASSION for the vulnerable.

This may be a great statement, but it’s meaningless if we don’t walk the talk. Examples abound of corporations (and non-profit organizations) that say one thing and do another.

We do live these 4 values at Gladney. They empower our staff. They define our culture. They transcend, and even bridge, differences. They serve as a compass for us. They form the basis for the reputation Gladney has built over 123 years of service.

As I interact daily with my Gladney team members, I’m absolutely convinced that their personal values align in word and deed with these 4 organization values. I wish you all could wander the halls with me and witness how powerfully these values frame what we do each day at Gladney.

Back to School

2010-09-02T13:29:00.000-07:00

I’ve always enjoyed provoking my kids. It’s part of the Father’s Bill of Rights. I would ask them if their homework was ready the night before the first day of school. I thought it was funny; they didn’t. Another way I provoked them was to use the word “routine” – “back to the routine”. They hated this word, and still do, I imagine.

So, is routine good or bad ? Probably good, but only to a point. Need to have room for busting out of the routine, being spontaneous, and avoiding a life that’s too comfortable and too predictable.

On the other hand, there is something appealing about settling into a routine or rhythm. Maybe rhythm is a less troublesome word to kids.

The school year, which has just begun in Texas, does establish a sort of rhythm for our lives. Almost everyone in Texas knows where they’ll be on Friday nights in the Fall, that being the local high school football game for those of you from Mars (or New England).

Gladney’s year essentially follows the school year. We are now settling into our Fall rhythm, which includes, among other events, 18 Gladney Family Association kick-offs, board meeting and staff retreat – all designed to set the tone for the year. We’ve got a great year in front of us. I encourage you to choose to be a part of Gladney this year, the rhythm as well as the spontaneity.

Laughter

2010-08-30T12:48:00.000-07:00

Laughter IS the best medicine. On Sunday morning, I boarded an early flight. I was tired and probably had a sour expression on my face. Boarding in front of me was a mom with her 2 year old boy. He had the most infectious laugh I have ever heard and he laughed from the time he got on the plane until after he got to his seat.

What was interesting for me was watching the expression change of everyone already seated as this little boy walked past each row. Without exception, everyone’s expression changed from the same sour one I originally had on my face to a big smile or even laughing out loud with him. It was like seeing the impact of a rolling wave.

A nice reminder to me of how laughter can be contagious. This little boy changed the mood of an entire planeload of people in about 5 minutes.

My Job

2010-08-03T13:49:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me the other day what I would want to be doing if I didn’t run Gladney. I was stumped.

I have no desire to return to the business world. There is no other job in the non-profit arena that I could be this passionate about.

So I thought some more. Maybe I could teach. But the only subject I am an expert in is Longhorns football and there’s no course in that.

I do have this crazy desire to wander all over the world, especially the remote areas. But that wouldn’t pay too well and I still have 2 kids to get through college.

State politics would be interesting. But I have red positions on blue issues and blue positions on red issues, so I’m probably only electable in a purple state.

So God and the Gladney Board willing, I think I’ll keep doing what I’m doing for a good while. As you may have heard me say, my job and my passion are one and the same, and you can’t be more blessed than that.

Aguascalientes

2010-07-21T07:15:00.000-07:00

In Genesis 12, God tells Abraham that he has been blessed, so that he will be a blessing to others. Out of an overflow of gratitude comes a desire to serve others.

When I was a teenager, gratitude and service were not even on my radar screen. My screen had a great big ME in the middle and not much room for anything else. However, today it seems that many teenagers and young adults have grasped the concept of gratitude and how it translates into service – none more so than our Gladney teenagers who just returned from Aguascalientes, Mexico.

Supported by Gladney staff and 2 intrepid Gladney moms, 11 teenagers transformed an orphanage through their hard work and compassion. More importantly, they transformed lives – the orphans and their own.

I have yet to meet anyone who spends time in an orphanage and leaves the experience unchanged. It carves away a little piece of your heart. My guess is that God prefers to work through people who have bumps, cuts and bruises on their hearts. A week in Mexico certainly tenderized the hearts of 11 Gladney teens.

Hayden's Graduation

2010-06-22T15:17:00.001-07:00

My most recent post referred to 2 graduations and a wedding in the Garrott family in May and showed pictures of our son, Phillip. In early June, our daughter Hayden graduated from Vista Ridge High School here in Austin. So I wanted to post a few happy graduation pictures of Hayden with her proud parents. Occasions like graduation are so special not only because they represent a sense of accomplishment on the part of the graduate, but they also serve as significant milestones in life's journey for both the graduate and the parents. As parents, we have mixed emotions - we share in their joy of accomplishment and their excitement about moving on to the next stage of life, but we also recognize that they will never again be under our roof or under our protection in quite the same way. In short, they have become adults, so I guess our pride at helping them get to this point should trump any nostalgia about wanting to go back and recapture fond memories from their youth. Having said that, Hayden and I will always be Shoshones.

2010-06-15T18:32:00.000-07:00

The last several weeks have been eventful for the Garrott family - 2 graduations and 1 wedding. Our oldest, Phillip, graduated from Furman University and 6 days later married Katie. Rebecca and I are beyond thrilled to have Katie as a daughter-in-law. Here are a few pictures from our 10 days in South Carolina - just a handful of casual pictures of Phillip with his parents, Phillip with Katie, Phillip and his roommates, Phillip and his best man, Riley. The second to last picture includes Phillip's sister, Hayden (far right) and his younger brother, Sam (far left). More pictures to come from Hayden's June 5 graduation.

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Gladney Center for Adoption's Humanitarian Aid Program

2010-05-24T09:15:00.000-07:00

Joy and Happiness

2010-05-02T18:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I joined several Gladney families at the new Yankee Stadium for a baseball game. I’m a diehard Yankees fan. We had sunshine, a close game and a lot of runs. I came early and stayed late. That’s a recipe for happiness. It doesn’t get any better than that or does it ?

On Thursday and Friday, I had the opportunity to attend the 6th annual Christian Alliance for Orphans conference. The conference was powerful – inspiring speakers, helpful breakout sessions and great conversations with other conference attendees who are focused on the plight of orphans. On Thursday, Stephen Curtis Chapman gave a short concert, closing the evening with beautiful worship music. That night I experienced something deeper than happiness. It was joy, which for me is relaxing in the confidence that God is in charge. Moving worship reinforces this reality. At least it does for me.

Joy is not dependent on circumstances, but happiness is. Had the Yankees game been rained out, my happiness would have vanished. But nothing could have diminished my joy on Thursday night or can undermine my joy in general.

When I have the opportunity to experience happiness and joy back-to-back as I have the last 3 days, I am reminded that I would gladly trade many moments of happiness for the foundation of joy that comes from faith. Joy is lasting. Happiness is fleeting. Joy is power for living. Joy overcomes.

Volunteers

2010-04-12T16:33:00.000-07:00

Volunteer…. Now why would anyone want to go and do that ? You don’t get paid. In fact, it may cost you money. It takes time and no one has any extra time. It involves commitment and we tend to shy away from commitment these days. So why does Gladney have so many wonderful volunteers ?

What’s their motivation ? As is probably the case for volunteers that support other organizations, I think it boils down to two things: 1) Gratitude – a deep recognition of blessings and a compulsion to respond, and 2) Other-centeredness – “living from the inside out”; looking beyond oneself at the world in need around us.

A non-profit organization’s success hinges to a significant degree on the commitment and passion of its volunteers. Gladney’s board of directors models this volunteer spirit as they devote extensive time in providing guidance and oversight to our management team. The Gladney Family Association (GFA) volunteers carry this torch locally by putting together calendars of events year after year to ensure that our families stay connected and supported.

The opportunities to volunteer on behalf of Gladney range from outreach and education to event planning and execution to providing transitional care to participating in service and heritage trips to being available to support our birthmothers.

Our volunteers are the best ambassadors for Gladney. They have a story to tell; they tell it and they act on it. Lucky us !

Russia

2010-04-10T09:18:00.000-07:00

Many of you may have heard the sad story that was reported yesterday about a woman from Tennessee who sent her 7-year old adopted son from Russia back to his home country on a plane by himself accompanied only by her note of explanation. I’m not here to sit in judgment of that woman. Who knows the trials she went through to get to that point ? Sadly, she appears to have made a poor decision that will likely send that boy down an even rougher road than what he’s already endured.

What bothers me intensely is that she didn’t think through the wider ramifications of her actions. She had other options, but the one she chose may jeopardize future adoptions from Russia to the US. And that’s a tragedy.

I’ve been in several orphanages in Russia. They have all been clean and well-run by caring adults, usually with medical backgrounds, many of whom have turned their backs on more lucrative careers in medicine because they felt a tug to help these kids. Don’t get me wrong about the orphanages – they are severely resource-constrained, but the orphanage directors and their staffs make it work somehow.

According to UNICEF, there are 740,000 orphans in Russia. All these children deserve a family and it will be a shame if the unfortunate actions of this woman and a few others create yet another barrier for these children to grow up in permanent, loving homes. The vast majority of Russian adoptees are thriving with their American families. This is well-known, but not well-publicized. My hope is that this is allowed to continue.

Russia is a proud country. We in the US would do well to understand their heritage and culture better. If we as a people and as a government were doing better at building bridges, these isolated incidents would be more containable as they would be understood through more of a common prism. As it is, these isolated incidents are allowed to dominate the collective conscious and the exceptional cases set policy to the detriment of all concerned.

The Cost of Adoption

2010-03-11T06:46:00.000-08:00

It’s that time of year – bluebonnets about to spring up here in Texas, St. Patrick’s Day, Spring Break, Daylight Savings Time, and of course, March Madness. In a few days, we’ll all make our picks. My heart is with Duke, but my head says Kansas.

The other thing that’s around the corner is April 15 – deadline for filing taxes. Which brings me in a roundabout way to my topic – the cost of adoption.

When Rebecca and I went through the process over 20 years ago, we found the cost somewhat daunting. Since then, no surprise…. the costs have risen. However, when we went through the process, we had to walk 5 miles to school through the snow uphill each way….. no wait, that’s a different story. Here we go….when we went through the process, there was no adoption tax credit and no hint of company support. Today, the tax credit is about $12,000 for most couples. And please don’t rely on our crystal ball, but we believe the tax credit will be extended.

And today, many enlightened corporations demonstrate their support of adoption by reimbursing a portion of the costs. Also, there are numerous non-profit organizations whose mission is to help couples that are struggling with adoption costs. ABBA Fund provides interest-free loans; HelpUsAdopt.org awards grants; Pathways for Little Feet provides financial assistance as do many others.

As an adoptive parent who is now about to be viewing the teen years of my kids in a rearview mirror, I can say it has been more than worth it – much, much, much more than worth it.

In fact, the parable in Matthew 13 really resonates. It’s about the man who found a pearl of great value and sold everything he had to obtain it. The parable refers to the Kingdom of Heaven, but I am going to stretch a bit and apply it to the value I place on our kids. They are pearls of greatest value. Adoption is a story of pursuit. Cost is a part of the pursuit. There is no comparable return – the value, the adventure, the joy dwarf the cost.

Haiti, Culture and the Best Interest of the Child

2010-02-17T14:17:00.000-08:00

At Gladney, our hearts ache for the people of Haiti, especially the orphans. We’ve all watched with interest the case of American missionaries trying to bring presumed orphans across the border to the Dominican Republic. While probably well-intentioned, the efforts of this group were misguided. International adoption is effectively blocked in most countries of the world. One reason is just what has stoked the controversy around the efforts of these missionaries – the fact that some of these children may not be orphans, but were simply separated from their parents in the earthquake. At the extreme end of the spectrum, with ill-intentioned individuals and groups, this leads to charges of child trafficking, which sadly enough, are occasionally true.

Foreign governments, our own Department of State and large well-funded NGO’s sometimes stand in the way of international adoption for another reason – a concern that the best interest of the child does not include any option which would remove him or her from their country of origin and their culture.

To a degree, we at Gladney affirm this view. That’s why we are beginning to explore the establishment of in-country adoption programs in select countries where we already operate. It’s also why our Gladney Family Associations around the U.S. plan several country-specific events each year. As an example, we have a number of Chinese New Year celebrations on the calendars this month. We believe it is important to provide each child adopted from overseas ample opportunity to fully appreciate the culture from his or her country of birth. That’s also why we are finalizing plans for our first “heritage trip” this summer – a group of families traveling back to Russia to enjoy Moscow and St. Petersburg and visit the orphanages in smaller cities.

To be clear, Gladney’s view is that in the best interest of the child, the need for a family trumps the need to remain in the country of origin, consistent with the International Convention on the Rights of the Child adopted by the UN in 1989, which states that “every child deserves a family”. Amen. Put another way, we don’t think it is in the best interest of any child to live in an orphanage, even those that are well-run, when there are loving families in the U.S. and elsewhere who are ready and able to provide permanent homes. Culture is vitally important; a loving family is even more important. At Gladney, we focus on both.

The Future of Gladney

2010-02-02T16:58:00.000-08:00

What will Gladney look like in 2020? To be honest, at this stage I’m not too sure. But we can go ahead and start the discussion now, and in fact we have. We have just kicked off the process of envisioning the 2020 finish line and figuring out how we’re going to get there. Not that our work will be complete in 10 years - far from it.

One thing I do know – we want to widen our impact.

This process has prompted me to think more about leadership. And I have arrived at a definition for myself as a leader. I’m not at all there, but it’s something I want to strive for – Bold in Vision; Disciplined in Execution; Humble in Spirit.

Does this leadership definition have applicability for Gladney as an enterprise? I think so. I am convinced that “widening our impact” will only occur as we collaborate with other like-minded organizations and even some who would be considered farther afield from us. I further believe that meaningful collaboration is grounded in humility. Is Gladney prepared to take the occasional backseat for the greater good of the causes we so strongly believe in? You bet. And that’s true leadership.

The Eyes of Texas - Sadder, But Still Proud

2010-01-09T16:14:00.000-08:00

The college football season is over. And it ended with a thud.

To this Longhorn fan, it almost seems like Thursday night’s championship game against Alabama wasn’t even played, since we lost our star QB, Colt McCoy, on his 5th offensive play. I have watched Colt play for 4 years and I must admit that although I am 32 years his senior, I have learned leadership lessons by observing him – watching him inspire his teammates, witnessing his humility and the way he deflects credit to everyone else, seeing him never waver irrespective of circumstances and rise to every challenge, and watching his teammates respond to him. And there he was on Thursday night rallying the troops from the sideline in the 2nd half.

Kudos to Gilbert Garrett, the freshman QB who went from dazed and confused to near legend in one night. (Almost a Clint Longley moment – “the triumph of the uncluttered mind”.) The Longhorns are in good hands the next few years as Gilbert has obviously learned something about leadership from Colt as well.

But Colt deserved a better fate this year. He didn’t necessarily deserve to win, but he did deserve the right to compete for the national championship. As the winningest QB in college football history, his name ought to be in the rarified UT QB air alongside Vince Young, James Street and Bobby Layne.

Am I still in mourning from Thursday night’s loss ? Let me answer that question this way….. I have almost recovered from Bart Starr’s quarterback sneak against the Cowboys in the 1967 Ice Bowl.

While in Colombia . . .

2009-12-18T14:20:00.000-08:00

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My Christmas Message - ANGER

2009-12-12T10:18:00.000-08:00

Several of the folks delivering the “news” on cable networks come across as not only loud and contentious, but also angry. I don’t think I like angry people. I like relaxed people.

My problem with some angry people is that they are getting angry at the wrong things, in my opinion. What’s a good guideline for what to get angry about and what to be relaxed about ? How about thinking through what God gets angry about and what God tells us to relax about ?

Regarding what to relax about, He tells us not to worry about just about everything. He will provide for us, as He does the birds of the air and the lilies of the field. Be relaxed about possessions – “for what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, but lose his soul?” Be relaxed about rank or position. He turns this upside down…. “The first shall be last and the last first”. “Whoever would be first among you must be a servant”. “Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped.”

Then what should we get angry about ? The things that anger God – poverty, injustice, ignoring orphans and widows in their distress. We know all will be made right in eternity (Psalm 73). But during our time on earth, I think He would like to see us get worked up that there are 143,000,000 orphans around the world, there are 500,000 kids in foster care in the US, and 20% of the world lives on a dollar a day or less. My belief is that He wants to see this anger channeled into action. He wants us to “be doers of the Word and not hearers only”.

So, Merry Christmas and have a relaxing holiday. Then I would encourage all of us to come back good and angry at the start of the new year, and follow through on our anger.

Attitudes and a Special Couple

2009-12-08T07:24:00.000-08:00

On my third day at Gladney in September 2007, I gave a short intro talk and distributed a hand-out. The hand-out was Chuck Swindoll’s comments about Attitude. I’ve been very encouraged to see that it is tacked up somewhere on almost everyone’s workspace, including mine ! It reads as follows:

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company….a church….a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past….we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude….I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you….we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

I was privileged to attend an event last week where I witnessed a vivid example of the realization that a godly attitude can trump any circumstance. Zeb and Allison Pent are a young couple in Ft Worth who learned earlier this year that they were pregnant. Just prior to hearing this good news, Zeb had an opportunity to travel to Ethiopia and see first-hand the orphanages and the massive challenges faced by the children who live there and the caregivers who struggle valiantly to meet their needs. After his return home, friends of Zeb and Allison wanted to share in their joy and throw them a traditional baby shower. But having been moved by what he saw in Ethiopia, Zeb with Allison’s wholehearted agreement, decided to turn the focus away from themselves and instead use their happy occasion to raise money for orphan care in Ethiopia (supporting the Gladney Center’s efforts there). Further into their pregnancy, they learned that their little girl would be born with major complications and would not survive. This news is among the most heart-wrenching a couple can hear. I know, because my wife and I heard it 17 years ago. Zeb and Allison named their daughter Glory and in spite of their heartbreak they decided to move forward with their plans for a baby shower to benefit the orphans of Ethiopia, which was the event I attended last Wednesday night. It was an emotional night and one that will have lasting benefit in a far-off country in ways we’ll never completely know.

I’ve never met Chuck Swindoll, but I bet he would agree with me that this is an amazing example of two people who certainly grieved, but who were able to rise above their difficult circumstances because of their attitudes. To be clear and to be true to the message of the evening, their attitudes were and are grounded in their Christian faith.

Adoption Really Does Rock

2009-11-16T15:41:00.001-08:00

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Adoption Rocks !

2009-10-28T06:30:00.000-07:00

Well, we all know that. This is the name we’ve given to a very special event set to take place at the Long Center in Austin on Friday night, November 13.

The background is this…… Last November, Sandra and Kevin Usleman wanted to do something special for their friends, Scott and Kristina Rehling, to celebrate in advance the Rehlings’ travel to Ethiopia to bring their daughter, Aynalem, home to the U.S.

What started small turned into a memorable evening of musical entertainment by well-known Austin bands. They performed for about 100 guests in the Uslemans’ backyard. Then Scott and Kristina got on a plane about 7 hours later bound for Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

It will be difficult to duplicate the emotion of that evening, but one year later, we’re going to try. While the Uslemans’ backyard was wonderful, the Long Center is a more ideal venue for these performers and it seats about 250.

Once again, John Pointer has graciously agreed to play. And we are very fortunate to have Dumpstaphunk (includes members of the Neville Brothers) joining us from New Orleans. This will be an unforgettable evening benefitting the Gladney Center and our mission of Creating Bright Futures around the World. If you were there last year, I don’t need to say anything more. If you weren’t, here’s your opportunity. Trust me – you’ll be glad you got on the bus.

This is a unique event tailored to Austin – edgy and for a cause. I should apologize to my teenage kids who prefer I not say “edgy” or that anything “rocks”. But adoption does rock ! And I guarantee you that November 13 will rock !

Gladney Family Associations - Lifetime Memberships

2009-10-27T07:52:00.000-07:00

I have been so encouraged, but not surprised, by the number of Gladney families who have taken advantage of our new lifetime membership opportunity. Making this choice signifies commitment and our families are remarkably committed to Gladney, to our mission, and to each other.

Joining up for life is a value statement. Lifetime members are saying we value what really matters – family, friendships, connection, belonging, making a difference.

I view Gladney’s adoptive parents as having an ownership stake in Gladney by virtue of our lifetime emotional investment, as well as the financial investment. As CEO, I see myself as accountable to this group and as one who also has a shared interest, since 2 of my 3 kids were adopted from Gladney.

Ownership has privileges and responsibilities. The responsibilities are encapsulated in the urging that each of our owners also be Gladney Ambassadors for Life. Be willing to share your story. Be an advocate for Gladney and the cause of adoption. So as a GFA Lifetime Member, I hereby also confer upon you the title of Ambassador. A noble title – just one more benefit of lifetime membership !

Our Friends at Council for Life

2009-10-26T09:30:00.000-07:00

What a morning ! This past Saturday was one of those cool, crisp late October mornings you dream about. An ideal morning for a 5K run / walk. And in fact, Dallas-based Council for Life hosted the Second Annual Take Steps for Life 5K benefitting the Gladney Center. More specifically, proceeds from the two runs have provided a significant portion of the funding for Next Steps, a program designed to help our birthmothers get back on their feet after they deliver and empower them for their futures.

Birthmothers arrive at Gladney in various stages of life with wide-ranging backgrounds and very different approaches for making plans – from essentially none to meticulous. Next Steps exists to help them all, but especially those who are not that clear on even what their next steps should or could be.

Council for Life is motivated by Christ’s love for each of us and the view that He wants us to choose life at every opportunity. Not only choose life over death, but embrace the abundant life He offers. We at Gladney heartily applaud all birthmothers for choosing life when they are confronted with an unplanned pregnancy. Our prayer though goes further – that these courageous decisions result in the abundant life for everyone involved – birthparents, their babies, adoptive parents, and even extended families.

For our birthmothers, the abundant life is rooted in dignity. And whether it’s housing, schooling, jobs or other skills, providing dignity is really at the heart of our Next Steps program.

So, thanks to everyone involved with Council for Life for your role in creating an environment where dignity thrives and the true abundant life is apparent and available to our birthmothers.

Gladney Cup

2009-10-02T01:16:00.000-07:00

Good morning !

It's 4:15AM in New York. Well, I showed up 45 minutes early for the bus to Bethpage. Must not have read the email too carefully.

This is the start of what promises to be an unforgettable weekend in New York - the sixth bi-annual Gladney Cup golf tournament at Bethpage Black today and Winged Foot on Monday, two famed US Open golf courses. Bracketing events in the city on Saturday and Sunday night. Sunday evening's event is a gala honoring Mike McMahon, my predecessor as Gladney's President. The event will be hosted by Hugh Jackman. Kerry Butler will perform, as will Pat Green.

On Monday night, Jim Nantz will emcee the awards ceremony at Winged Foot. Gladney is fortunate to have wonderful and talented adoptive parents and friends.

The whole idea is not just to put on a first-class event and have fun, although that is important.

We are raising money to fund our humanitarian aid efforts around the world. To focus on the children left behind; on those who will never find a permanent family; on those aging out of the orphanages. We want to play a role in giving them "a future and a hope".

The 4:45AM bus will be here shortly. The weather is holding up. It should be a great day of golf, except I'm told the course is brutal.

Calling All Artists

2009-09-19T12:31:00.001-07:00

Have a little artist in your home? Here's their chance to make their mark. Knowing that children have endless visions of sugar plums and candy canes, Gladney is looking to its "babies" to design its annual holiday card. Budding artists can submit cover art, the inside verse . . . or both!

Entry form.

Gladney and the Prayer of Jabez

2009-09-13T19:49:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of ways that people can support Gladney. Usually we focus on folks volunteering their time and talents, providing financial support, increasing awareness of the joys of adoption, etc. Another area that could receive more attention is prayer. Gladney has a noble, child-centered mission of Creating Bright Futures Around the World, a mission that is surely aligned with God’s heart. Why not pray for Gladney ?

I do. And I think the prayer of Jabez is a good framework. The prayer of Jabez has been around for a good while, 3000 years or so. (See I Chronicles 4:10.) About 10 years ago, it was “dusted off” in a book by Bruce Wilkinson. (After all, I Chronicles is pretty hard to find.) Here is the prayer, replacing “me” with “us” and “Gladney”…….

“Oh, that you would bless Gladney indeed
and enlarge our territory,
that Your hand would be with us
and that you would keep us from evil.”

“That You would bless us” – This is not a selfish prayer. It’s not focused on material blessing. We simply want what God wants for us. We want governments to find favor with us, birthmothers to locate us, adoptive parents to work with us, and sure, financial support, all designed to improve the lives of children around the world.
“Enlarge our territory” – We want to make a greater impact; we want to expand our influence; we want to be among the leaders in the adoption and child welfare discussion.
“That Your hand would be with us” – I want to know that God’s handprint is on everything we are doing at Gladney.
“And that You would keep us from evil” – If we are on the front lines doing God’s work, we’ll encounter resistance. Here we simply ask God to go before us.

I hope you’ll join me in this prayer. Let’s watch God work.

Interstate 35

2009-09-07T18:57:00.000-07:00

I have made the drive between Austin and Ft Worth over 200 times in the last 2 years. I’m frequently asked if I’m tired of it. My stock answer is: “no, it gives me time to think”.

And this is true, but it is also giving me an opportunity to learn some things about myself. I’m not a nice person when it comes to highway driving. In fact, I’m a profiler. There, I admit it. The only people who don’t drive like idiots, who keep to the exact right speed (not necessarily the speed limit) and stay in the exact right lanes at all times are 54 year old males. It may be a coincidence, but I happen to be a 54 year old male. My profiling and lack of patience just get worse if the offending vehicle has an out-of-state license plate. And if there’s an OU or Texas A&M bumper sticker, well let’s not go there.

On every trip, I am either hurrying to get to Gladney or hurrying to get home to Austin, so I tend to keep my speed a bit above 70. Therefore, so I don’t go postal during one of my next 200 trips, I do have just one request of all drivers on I-35 between Austin and Ft Worth…..IF YOU ARE IN THE LEFT LANE, PLEASE GO FASTER THAN 70. OTHERWISE, DO NOT GET IN THE LEFT LANE.

It feels good to get that off my chest.

Intrepid Snake Killers

2009-08-31T09:11:00.000-07:00

(This post interrupts my series on Religion and Politics)

It turns out the job of Gladney President is more multi-faceted than I expected.

A few days ago at about 5:30PM, I got a call from across the building in our Development and Accounting area. Several of the women spotted a snake under the equipment – a copperhead, they said. So when they called me, my first thought was “ok, deal with it”. But I didn’t say that. They said they needed a man to come over. My reaction then was “I’ll try to find one”. Much to my chagrin, I learned that they had already called Richard, Roland and Marshall. I was the last resort – what a blow to my ego.

Fortunately, I found Scott and we bravely walked over to do our manly duty. Scott was braver than I was. He got down low with a flashlight and flushed the sucker out and then I killed it by dropping a paver (large brick) on it.

It turns out it wasn’t exactly a copperhead. It was perhaps 18 inches long, not as thick around as a dime and light brown.

HOWEVER, in future retellings, it will grow – to, say, eventually 6 feet. Its color may change to black, red and yellow. And Scott and I went in, grabbed it by the tail and snapped its head off. In fact, now that I think about it, was Scott really there ?

Religion and Politics (continued)

2009-08-27T16:49:00.000-07:00

In my last 2 posts, I referred to myself as a liberal, evangelical Christian and explained what “evangelical” and “Christian” mean to me. According to my definitions, both are fairly black and white. Either you are or you aren’t.

“Liberal” is more gray. What I mean is that I find myself increasingly tilting toward the liberal view on more issues than not. This was percolating within me long before Obama’s election. Likewise, the timing of this post does not relate to Ted Kennedy’s death. My brother-in-law claims I was brainwashed by reading the New York Times every day for 12 years. That’s probably the best explanation for my political shift. That and my travels around the world, which I believe moderates conservative thinking. I use liberal and conservative rather than Democrat and Republican. Hyper-partisan politics has spoiled my appetite for either party, although we do know that Jesus was a Republican. (See II Hezekiah 7:13)

(Back to the New York Times. It has at least 2 things going for it. The paper covers the world like no other and as an institution, it is aggressively compassionate with regard to the neediest, both locally and around the world, and I love that.)

There are too many issues for one post, so I’ll start off with foreign affairs, which I’m more passionate about (as opposed to domestic policy issues).

Foreign Policy

Yes to engagement - There’s nothing to be lost by dialogue, by making the effort to bring rogue nations into the world community. You don’t have to trust them; just talk to them.

Yes to building real coalitions – Like the first Gulf War; that worked

Yes to the United Nations – Although flawed, we should try and work within its framework. What’s the alternative – isolation or go form our own UN-equivalent. Nobody would join.

Defense Budget

I’m as American as they come. This last 4th of July, I kept switching channels so I could hear “America, the Beautiful” and “Stars and Stripes Forever” again and again. My dad had a bad singing voice, but he always sang “The Star-Spangled Banner” before every sporting event. Therefore, I always sing “The Star-Spangled Banner” before every sporting event. I get choked up when I return home from traveling overseas and see “Welcome to the United States of America” at the airports.

BUT, I question the need for a $600 billion defense budget. What about, say, $400 billion. That would still be 6 TIMES the budget of China, the next largest on the list. There’s a lot of good we could do here and abroad with that extra $200 billion. And while I’m at it, why is this never debated ??? Congress just rubber-stamps this budget year in and year out. Debate exists only at the margin, if at all.

Foreign Aid

There are several different definitions of foreign aid. Using the most common, the US distributes about $30 billion / year, or roughly 5% of our defense budget. Measuring foreign aid as a percentage of GDP, the US is one of the stingiest developed nations. It wasn’t always the case. Recall the Marshall Plan, where the US played a huge role in rebuilding post-WWII Europe. Some historians say this was our country’s finest hour.

I don’t claim to have the answers. I would just like to see a civilized debate on these issues, absent the name-calling and abrasive behavior that has become the norm in politics and in the media.

What I find really draining and counter-productive are so many TV and radio newspersons (loosely defined) screaming at each other. Whoever stops screaming first or whoever actually shows the grace to let the other side finish a sentence, whether liberal or conservative, I’ll choose your side.

Religion and Politics (2nd Post)

2009-08-24T17:15:00.000-07:00

In my last post, I described myself as a liberal, evangelical Christian. I explained what the word “Christian” means to me. Here I will tackle “evangelical” and save “liberal” for my next post.

To me, evangelical simply means I’m excited about my faith. It’s my framework – the lens through which I view life. Therefore for me, it’s a natural topic of conversation. Why wouldn’t it be ? I don’t look for opportunities to weave it into every dialogue and I don’t stand on the street corner and preach. By the same token, I don’t shy away from talking about what I believe to be the answer for people who are searching for truth and meaning in their lives.

Maybe I’m wrong. I’m willing to risk it. I’m prepared to stake my life on belief in the unseen world. Perhaps this does make me a “nutcase” as I noted in the previous post. But I don’t think so. Ecclesiastes 3 says: “God has set eternity in the hearts of men.” Blaise Pascal, 17th century mathematician and philosopher, put it this way: “Inside each man’s heart is a god-shaped vacuum.” Intuitively, we know there is a higher (unseen) power. Based on my reading of the Bible (and other books touting different views) and validated by my life experience, I choose to believe the higher power is the God that is revealed in the Bible.

If someone thought they knew the key to filling the vacuum that Pascal refers to, but kept the secret from me, I’d be very disappointed. I think I have the secret. But it’s not a secret. Examine God’s word.

So, evangelical Christian – guilty as charged.

Religion and Politics (1st of 3 Posts)

2009-08-20T15:51:00.000-07:00

(This has nothing to do with adoption or the Gladney Center; it just relates to me. I assume if you read my blog, you may want to know more about me. So here goes….)

At the risk of inspiring scorn from almost everyone who might read this, I think of myself as a liberal, evangelical Christian. Is there anyone else out there in my quadrant ? The word “liberal” continues to carry negative baggage and many people equate “evangelical” to “nutcase”.

Let me work backwards on these terms. Here I’ll define Christian. In my next two posts, I’ll define liberal and evangelical.

For some, being a Christian means going to church fairly often. For others, it means God will judge you favorably as a Christian if the good outweighs the bad, and therefore you make the cut. It’s really difficult for me to get my arms around this concept. Good deeds – 5463; sins – 4489; therefore, I go to the good place when I die. (Heaven; not Texas) But if the numbers were reversed, I’d be sweating for eternity. I don’t buy it. What if I just missed by one too few good works ? What if it’s a tie – where do I go then ? This is the logical extension of what a lot of people believe – “oh, I hope I’ve been good enough”. Well, you haven’t. Neither have I. Not even close. Do you really want to see your ledger ? I don’t.

I believe God inspired the Biblical authors, so I’m inclined to look there for my definition. Many passages make it crystal clear that true faith in Christ is what matters.

Romans 10:9 states it plainly:
“If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved.”

That’s pretty straightforward. When I say Christian, that’s what I mean. There, that was the easy one.

Sad

2009-08-17T11:38:00.000-07:00

Today is a sad day. Stealing from Chuck Swindoll, we are in charge of our attitudes; not our circumstances. Today, Phillip, our oldest, left Austin for his senior year at Furman. I’m happy for him, because he loves it there. But I’m sad for me.

Here’s what I want to say: Don’t leave; don’t grow up; just stay a little longer; let’s play more croquet, golf, pool; let’s watch another episode of Sportscenter, Sunday night baseball, Tiger.

What I need to say: Leave; I’m glad you’ve grown up into a mature young man of character. Don’t forget us back here in Texas, but live your own life and live it passionately. And remember, one person can change the world.

I’m proud of you, but I miss you already. Happy and sad – I still have some more attitude work to do.

Voices

2009-08-11T13:39:00.000-07:00

It’s hard to overstate the power of the spoken word. Each of us has the capacity to speak life into others by encouragement. I’ve witnessed people come alive, reach their potential because others believed in them and spoke this belief to them.

What voices do you listen to ? Not only external, but internal ? I choose to play back to myself voices of encouragement, starting with God, whom I believe spoke the world into creation and speaks life into each of us. How does His voice come alive ? For me, it’s by internalizing His word, such that calling His word to my mind is a natural, almost automatic, reaction to circumstances in my life, both good and bad.

I also play back voices of encouragement from family, friends and fellow-workers. Gladney is a very encouraging place to work. Almost everyone here seems to actively think of ways to encourage. What a refreshing change for me personally. Even though I worked for financial institutions that I’m still proud to be associated with, encouragement was not exactly a valued commodity. Without realizing it at the time, I got a little beaten down; maybe lost a little life.

I’ve learned that everybody – all levels and all personality types – appreciates an encouraging word and becomes just a little more alive when they hear one.

Russia

2009-08-03T20:37:00.000-07:00

I recently returned from Russia and Bulgaria and was able to describe the highlights of my trip in audio posts to my blog. Accompanying me on the Russia leg were Rich Hill, a Gladney board member, and Marshall Williams, a Gladney executive. It was a wonderful trip and I'm very encouraged about both countries - in terms of widespread concern about their orphans, as well as opportunities for Gladney. It's hard to capture a trip in a few pictures, but I have tried to do that for the Russia portion - me and my traveling companions, our in-country team, me and a few of the adorable kids, and a shot of our team with government officials in Pskov. More to come - next from Bulgaria.

Report from Bulgaria

2009-07-22T10:40:00.000-07:00

Marshall Williams and I are now in Bulgaria. Hear what Marshall has to say on this short audio update.

The Russia Journey Continues

2009-07-17T06:58:00.001-07:00

Hi! Here's an update on our Russia journey.

I'm in Russia!

2009-07-15T11:20:00.000-07:00

While in Russia, visiting with Gladney's in-country team and visiting orphanages I will be recording my experience. Please check back for more and be sure to leave a comment letting me know what you think!

Enjoy!

America

2009-07-02T19:23:00.000-07:00

What did you do to ensure your birth would take place in America ?

Absolutely nothing, of course.

And yet you and I are fortunate to be US citizens, whether we believe it’s by happenstance or by God’s grace.

I have had the opportunity to travel overseas quite a bit and find myself questioning where to draw the line between my pride in being an American and my recognition that Russians, Japanese, Ethiopians, Chileans, Austrians all share a similar level of pride in the heritage of their countries and the accomplishments of their countrymen.

And yet America is a special country.

• We do have a unique history.
• We remain the beacon of hope for many around the world.
• Most of the world still looks to America for leadership.
• American culture permeates the world.

And the list could go on and on.

In 10 days, I’m traveling to Russia and Bulgaria. I will thoroughly enjoy experiencing the sights and sounds of their cultures.

But one of the highlights of the trip will surely be returning through US Customs and seeing the sign that says:

“Welcome to the United States of America”

I get a lump in my throat every time I see it.

What should we as the American people do with our birthright, with our good fortune ?

Gloat about it ? Horde it ? Obviously not. We need to be good stewards of undeserved grace and share our blessings, as we are reminded in Luke 12:48…

“From whom much has been given, much will also be required.”

Dad

2009-06-19T21:11:00.000-07:00

Fathers’ Day is fast approaching. Phillip, Hayden, Sam – are you paying attention ?

My father passed away 8 years ago after a lengthy battle with a still unclear neurological disease. Almost every day, memory of him still enters my mind.

Dad offered occasional pearls of wisdom, like: “don’t sweat the small stuff”, and “pick your battles”. However, his impact on my life was based on what he did more than what he said. Although he rose to Chairman of his company and worked fairly hard to get there, never did I doubt that Mom, my sister and I were his top priority. Dad made sure we all felt special. Growing up, many of our good times revolved around sports, especially Cowboy games at the Cotton Bowl. I can still remember exactly where we parked, the route we walked and where we sat – fond memories that are etched permanently in my mind.

As I got older, I realized what a unique man Dad was and how fortunate I was to be his son. He walked the talk – he modeled character. Here’s a picture of Dad:

• Quiet confidence

• Humility
• Easygoing nature

• Balance
• Sense of humor

• Joy and contentment

Character is contagious and I’m convinced that Dad’s will live on through the generations.

I still miss him, though.

The Journey

2009-06-02T15:58:00.000-07:00

“Life is a journey.” Now there’s a cliché, but what does it really mean ? A journey – a process. Process can oftentimes matter more than results or outcomes. We have some control over process; less so over outcomes. It’s true in business dealings; it’s true in parenting; it’s true in spiritual matters. I don’t feel pressured to produce results outside of my control, but I do feel a sense of urgency about the processes I can control.

Teddy Roosevelt’s famous quote from a speech delivered in Paris in 1910 captures this sentiment:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

The man “in the arena” is a taker of risks without regard for the outcome.

In Martina McBride’s song “Do It Anyway”, we’re encouraged to dream big without regard for the outcome. A few lyrics:

“You can spend your whole life buildin’
Something from nothin’
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway.

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway”

I’m convinced that we’ll get the most out of our journey if we give, if we dream, and if we risk - all without regard for the outcome.

2009-06-02T08:12:00.000-07:00

The Gladney Center for Adoption and doctors from Cook Children's hospital traveled to Ethiopia to provide medical care to children living in orphanages. Watch this heartwarming adventure. For more information about how you can help children, please log onto gladney.org.

2009-05-25T09:53:00.000-07:00

What Really Matters …. I changed the title of my blog a couple of months ago. It can be read as either a question or a statement. Either way, what really matters is people – those close to us, those in our wider circle, and also those we don’t know who desperately need our help. As I’ve noted in prior posts, at least one-third of the world’s population is just struggling to survive each day. These people also matter.

I’m reminded of a powerful little booklet entitled “Tyranny of the Urgent”. The author drew the distinction between the urgent and the important, suggesting that almost all of us allow the urgent to crowd out the important. The urgent matters are essentially the daily tasks in front of us, while the important matters are relationships – vertically with God and horizontally with other people.

As a Type A personality, I need this lesson drummed into me every day. Type A’s talk about being Type A and chuckle. But it’s not really funny, because many of us wish we weren’t. We need to learn to enjoy the experience of allowing the important to push aside the urgent. I know “what really matters” in my head, but I need to live it each day.

Working at Gladney has awakened parts of the relational side of me that had been gathering dust. Gladney is nothing if not relational. Within the Gladney community, we call it Family for Life and we mean it. Beyond the borders, we’re doing everything in our power to impact the lives of children left behind in orphanages around the world. What really matters ? It’s right in front of us, if we’ll see with the eyes of our heart.

ESPN

2009-05-16T13:42:00.000-07:00

I was never too good at sports, but I have always loved to watch them – live and on TV. My TV is usually tuned in to ESPN and I imagine I have watched ESPN Sports Center several hundred times.

Imagine my surprise when on Thursday, May 14, I was on the Noon segment of Sports Center ! I can now go to my grave in peace.

Here’s the story – Mike McMahon, Gladney’s President for the last 20 years, was given 4 tickets to the Rangers – Mariners baseball game last Wednesday night – first row; behind home plate.

The game was back and forth all night. The Rangers won on a walk-off double in the bottom of the 11th, a good enough game to make the highlights on Sports Center the next day.

My colleagues are witnesses to the fact that during lunch on Thursday, they saw me on national TV for about 2 seconds where the camera captured me behind Hank Blaylock, who got the winning hit.

The saying goes: “We all get our 15 minutes of fame.”

I’m content with my 2 seconds.

Distractions !

2009-05-07T18:31:00.000-07:00

I’m on a flight from LaGuardia to DFW – delayed; no surprise there. A dad and his 3-year old boy right behind me. Uh-oh.

I was trying to read the latest TIME. And this dad started to read to his boy. This turned out to be more distracting than I expected. He was British and it sounded like J. K. Rowling reading “Harry Potter”, only he was reading “The Cat in the Hat”. It was mesmerizing. By the time he got to little cat z, I was on the edge of my seat, because I couldn’t remember how he cleaned the spots off the snow. It turns out, if I heard right, that he had “voo” under his hat. And it worked !

This dad then engaged in silly talk with his boy, who was laughing hysterically. And it made me happy and sad at the same time – happy for the times I was silly with my kids when they were younger and sad that I wasn’t sillier more often.

Secession

2009-04-26T14:59:00.000-07:00

Well, our Governor backed himself into a corner last week by suggesting that Texas might just secede from the Union. The media ran with it, as did his opponents. Probably an over-reaction, since Texans have joked for years about our right to secede.

The joke is probably on us. Most of the rest of the country would be inclined to say “don’t let the door hit you on the way out”.

While there is an amusing side to this, generally speaking, secession is not a terribly productive approach to any problem. It’s tantamount to disengagement; it closes the door on communication.

At the institutional level, an example is “get the US out of the UN”. If the rest of the world won’t play by our rules, we’ll simply disengage. The half-serious Texas secession bantering is another example. As is the classic example of secession from about 150 years ago. That one didn’t work out too well, either.

I’m more interested in bringing it down to an individual level. Sometimes we secede from relationships; we disengage. In general, men are more guilty than women. We say “we’re going into our cave” and everyone chuckles. But it’s not that funny. It’s a conscious decision to secede, to disengage. I confess I’m a hypocrite – I like my cave. In fact, I’m in my cave right now writing this and watching basketball.

I would like to encourage all of us, especially the men, to not secede. Ultimately, we may find that as we secede from relationships, we’re really seceding from life.

Orphans - Nighttime

2009-04-08T16:26:00.000-07:00

As each one of us drifts off to sleep at night, we are left alone with our thoughts. For me, most nights these are pleasant – fun events of the day, family activities, upcoming plans. Or I might be thinking this bed is too hard; this pillow is too flat; I’m cold; I’m thirsty.

As the darkness settles in each night on the millions of orphans around the world, I wonder what they think about. Of course, many of them are not even in orphanages; they’re street children. Their thoughts may run along the lines of: “I survived today; I hope I can survive tomorrow. I wonder where I’m going to sleep tomorrow night. I wonder if I’ll find anything to eat.”

Whether on the streets or in orphanages, their only thought may be how cold or sick they are. Have you ever gone camping and been cold and stayed awake all night wishing the morning would arrive ? I think of the Scripture: “weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning”. But for orphans, joy doesn’t come in the morning, because they’re still suffering – cold, hot, sick, hungry.

I bet as they drift off to sleep, sometimes their minds are filled with fear. The little ones fear what our little ones fear – spiders, snakes, wild animals – but the orphans’ fears are based on reality, not imagination. The younger kids may fear the older kids. The older kids probably don’t have fears or do they ? As they get close to aging out of the orphanages, they must fear the future. Their fear is life. How am I going to survive ?

In some cases, as these orphaned children close their eyes at night, their thoughts may roam to a deep sense of longing – longing to be cared for, longing to be held by someone. Longing to see the face of their mommy or daddy, even if they’ve been abandoned. Longing to see a sibling, if they can remember any. Longing to be part of a family – a permanent, secure, caring family. My guess is that many do not even think about this, because it is beyond what they can hope or dream.

At Gladney, in the foster care centers we operate and the orphanages we support, we do what we can to provide a safe, nurturing environment, to offer medical care and to give nourishing meals. We maintain a low child-to-caregiver ratio, so that kids can be held. We focus on programs for kids who are about to age out of orphanages, so they don’t have to dread the next stage of life.

We aim to replace fear with hope.

We aim to provide these children a future.

Jeremiah 29:11 resonates loudly: “ ‘For I know the plans that I have for you’, declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.’ ”

A Large, Unknown Country

2009-04-04T10:41:00.000-07:00

I want to tell you about a country. It’s the 8th largest country in the world, measured by population. But nobody knows it exists. How can this be ? Because it’s a diaspora – it’s spread all over the earth. Population – 143,000,000.

No slogan or constitution or history to unify them. No President. No flag. No anthem. The only unifying threads are poverty, hopelessness and despair. The world’s orphans are found in every country – some in orphanages; most on the streets. Almost all in the least developed countries of the world. THEY ARE MANY, BUT THEY HAVE NO VOICE.

Where do they get a voice ? From those who have true compassion and are in positions of influence – government leaders, as well as private citizens. Who is doing more to address the orphan crisis around the world ? Let’s not mince words. It’s certainly not the governments – either the US or foreign. All too often, they create barriers to solving the orphan crisis. Poor countries don’t have the resources; rich countries don’t care - it's not a high enough priority.

What about the UN ? It exists to give voice to the voiceless; hope to the most marginalized people in the world. Is there a group with less of a voice than destitute orphaned children ? The UN’s track record is mixed. Their various arms do address some of the problems, but they create hurdles as well.

This massive worldwide problem is not given nearly the attention it deserves, precisely because orphans do not have a voice. And it is a massive problem from so many perspectives. Unaddressed, it will mushroom into a much larger problem as orphans (street children and those in institutional care) become young adults and try to integrate into society. Sadly, most will fail.

What can be done to confront the global orphan crisis ? It takes compassion. It takes resources. It takes awareness. More than anything, it takes courageous, visionary leadership. There is a stirring in the hearts of people in this country and in other developed countries – a drumbeat, a growing concern for the plight of the orphan. People motivated by their faith and those motivated by a general sense of concern for their fellow man. People ready to be led in this cause.

Gladney will be a leader. We will lead both from faith and from a general concern. As for myself, I want my heart aligned with God’s heart. His heart is for the orphan. His concern for the fatherless echoes loudly throughout Scripture. It can't be ignored. We will lead and we will pray that world leaders choose to align their hearts with the heart of the One who created us all, who calls us to “choose life”, and who is as concerned with a despairing orphan in sub-Sahara Africa as with the government official dining on fine wine and caviar. In fact, I am fairly confident that God is more concerned for the orphan.

“When you did it to the least of these, you did it to Me.” (Matthew 25:40)

Maybe one day this Federal Orphan Republic will be a much smaller country.

Reflections on Ethiopia

2009-03-27T09:01:00.001-07:00

Posted by Phillip Garrott

I'd like to share with you all a portion of an email that I sent the day before I left Ethiopia, on December 6th, 2008.

"There have been many times that I have been extremely lonely, but it has been an excellent lesson in patience and understanding. Loneliness is inner emptiness, and understanding that lets you gain a perspective on what to fill yourself with. It has been a lesson learned over a long time, and I admit that I have been broken in order to reach the position that I am in now. But I am thankful for it. We really must learn how to be alone if we are to be with people in a safe and meaningful.

Companionship and fellowship with people my own age has been severely lacking – even amongst some of my Ethiopian friends. Amharic is a very tough language to learn, and most people don’t speak but a little bit of English. Please, please, please…cherish the friendships that you have surrounding you, and the friends that are always there for you. There may come a time when you have to branch out on your own away from everything that you know, and live without those around you. They may not understand you always, and you may disagree on who should be President or where to go to dinner – but relish that! It hurts really badly when they are gone. Now may be the only time in your life that you live in such close proximity with so many people. Even though it can be tough, be strong and know that you will look back on these days with smiling faces.

Now, I know that for me, all of this is exacerbated by the fact that I am living in a foreign country. I also want to emphasize that I am not completely alone over here. Just over the fence (less of a fence actually…more just concrete) is an American Family working for the same Adoption Agency. They are two parents (Ryan and Abby) in their late 20’s early 30’s which three kids, two adopted Ethiopian children, Marta (12) and Enoch (2), and Baby Ezra (7 months). I have essentially played the part of the elder brother to them in the time here, and younger brother to the parents. This experience has taught me much about the importance of family, some lessons which I should have learned a long time ago.

I’ll just say this too - for the most part I've worked with infants aged 0-2 years old. I’ve been doing developmental charts with them 2-3 times a week, essentially writing down things that they can and cannot do, taking their picture, and sending it to soon-to-be-parents. Babies are smelly and dirty, cry a lot, never cooperate, can’t tell you anything about what they want or don’t want, and generally are just unpleasant to be around…but those few shining moments when they flash you a smile, and you see that they aren’t just blobs but are the most perfect form of innocence and beauty that have ever seen, all that other stuff goes away. They are also a gift. To give a child to a parent who has never had children before, and was told time and again by doctors and lawyers that they would never, ever have children…I can’t describe that moment in words.

Life runs at a different pace over here, one that I hope to emulate and show you all when we get back. If I have realized one thing, it is that the United States forces us to “move, move, move” until we can’t move any longer. That, in Ethiopia, is simply not the case. One is never too busy to take time for a coffee break with friends, or a walk outside. It’s those things that keep us sane. To be constantly moving means to neglect the opportunity to sit and relax. I DARE you to plan a Saturday with nothing, or take a walk once a day. Be human! There is more to life than books and studying, and the relationships that you have with each other are mere vapor in the air, a mist in the morning. Soon, it will be gone. Learn from each other, we have so much to teach each other.

Ethiopia has taught me much, but it is nothing that can't be comprehended and examined back in the states. It may be easier to draw your mind away from the commonplace and routines that frequently suck our time away, but it is possible - dare I say necessary. Just take a trip to the coffee shop with a good friend and discuss. Read a book that makes you think. Stay away from things that tell you how you should think, and what to believe. I came to the realization the other day about the question we used to ask in high school and before: “Why do we have to know this?” It’s not so much the material, but teaching yourself to develop the skills associated with that certain discipline. If you just start to consider things on a different plane, from a different perspective, then your true interests will emerge, your real passions will become exposed, and you will be far more excited and driven towards your goal. "

United Nations

2009-03-20T09:23:00.000-07:00

“Get the US out of the UN”. This sentiment, sometimes seen on bumper stickers, runs counter to the leadership role we need to play in a fractured world.

During the time I lived in Connecticut and worked in New York, I volunteered with the Christian Mission to the United Nations Community, an NGO (non-governmental organization) working within the structure of the UN.

As a result of that experience, I want to defend the UN…… sort of.

First, after meeting with hundreds of diplomats during my 10-year involvement with the Christian Mission, I am convinced that the UN as an institution and the large majority of the diplomats who serve there are well-intentioned. Well-intentioned and hardworking, but not always effective.

Second, I believe the UN is widely misunderstood in the US. It is viewed as a counterweight to our power. Although not stated this way in their charter, I’m convinced that the real purpose of the UN is to give a voice to the marginalized people of the world, and that is a noble purpose.

The day-to-day activities of the UN are carried out through a handful of large committees that range from peacekeeping to economic development to global health. One of these committees covers human rights, including children’s rights. This is where the UN intersects with the mission of Gladney.

The International Convention on the Rights of the Child was adopted by the UN General Assembly in 1989 and is considered a binding treaty among member nations. Its provisions focus on the rights, the dignity, the welfare and the protection of the child, as well as the preeminence of the family. It states: “The child should grow up in a family environment” and with respect to inter-country adoption, “the best interests of the child should be the paramount consideration”.

What if the world really operated this way ? What if these provisions were actually enforced ? We can dream, and we can try and work with the relevant UN agencies. Which brings us to UNICEF (United Nations Children’s Fund). UNICEF is part of the solution and part of the problem. UNICEF has done wonderful work around the world for the benefit of impoverished children. Sadly though, they are not inclined to see inter-country adoption as part of the solution to the millions of children in orphanages and on the streets. Nor do they give much credence to the efforts of adoption agencies to invest in the countries where they work, which Gladney does extensively.

The UN and UNICEF are not perfect, far from it. However, I am convinced they are well-meaning and capable of change. At Gladney, I encourage collaboration and Gladney has taken initiative to foster more collaborative behavior with other adoption agencies. My hope is that the US will begin to work more collaboratively within the walls of the UN, and that UNICEF and international adoption agencies would not work at cross purposes, but instead would collaborate effectively to improve the lives of children everywhere, especially the millions who have no concept of family.

Live TV

2009-03-13T13:12:00.000-07:00

I may have a new career opportunity. Two weeks ago, I made my TV debut. I was interviewed live on the Not So Perfect Parent segment of Good Morning Texas, which is broadcast on the ABC affiliate to the Dallas-Ft Worth Metroplex.

The interview is the second of the 2 links. The segment began with a video that wove together our adoption story of Phillip, our oldest, with his work for Gladney in Ethiopia.

I've been debating whether or not to post this to my blog, but since I did not have any "deer in the headlights" moments, I decided to go ahead.

However, I have not received any calls from agents looking to manage my TV career, so I guess I'll continue in my present role at Gladney.

Part One

Part Two

Financial Crisis

2009-03-10T09:55:00.000-07:00

I am 12 years removed from the banking world, but I have an opinion on the current financial crisis, and since this is my blog, I’m going to share it.

So, how did we get into this financial mess ? Greed ! Now there’s a startling revelation. TIME magazine recently identified 25 people to blame. It’s a compelling list. Certainly, we can cast blame toward regulators, government leaders, rating agencies and the consumer, but I would lay a disproportionate share of the blame at the feet of the money-center banks and the investment banks.

I worked for one of those banks for most of the 90’s and can perhaps offer an informed, if somewhat dated, perspective. This perspective predates the housing and mortgage crisis, but seeds were sown well over a decade ago that I think gave rise to the current crisis. The story I relate here was multiplied tens of thousands of times over. Nothing illegal or unethical; just out of control and short-sighted.

My role at the bank was credit underwriting and business development (more the latter), working with large multinational corporations. We were encouraged to market everything the bank had to offer, except loans. All other products besides loans were fee-based income. One such product was derivatives, which in the case of my clients back then, were primarily interest rate swaps and foreign currency swaps. These instruments were initially designed as protection against interest rate and foreign exchange volatility, essentially insurance policies. Seems kind of quaint now; even archaic. Here’s the irony – the very products designed to minimize corporations’ risks became highly risky themselves.

What happened ? Corporations, specifically their treasury departments, were seeking other income streams. Many had become profit centers. They began to see these financial instruments as ways to make risky bets with potentially large pay-offs rather than prudent hedges. The banks were only too happy to oblige. They formed teams of math geniuses whose job was to design increasingly complex derivatives to satisfy the appetite of the more aggressive treasury departments, enabling them to make these bets. So, the banks greed fed the greed of the large corporations and vice versa.

Many years ago, when the banks first dealt with interest rate swaps and other derivatives, they focused on a matched book – ensuring counterparties were on the other sides of transactions to minimize their exposures to interest rate fluctuations. Eventually banks moved away from this conservative position and began to trade for their own accounts rather than simply on behalf of their clients, putting huge amounts of capital at risk. All designed to boost profits, because core lending was unprofitable or marginally so.

Were the investment banks any different ? Not really, except they weren’t as regulated. As a result, they weren’t as well-capitalized as the commercial banks. They had less margin for error. Their cultures encouraged outrageous risk-taking, resulting in outrageous bonuses in the good years. It’s no surprise then that as this system imploded, investment banks suffered disproportionately more than the commercial banks.

How does this relate to our current mess ? The same institutions that were designing and marketing high-risk financial instruments 15, 20, 25 years ago became more and more creative and aggressive with their financial engineering in the equities and mortgage-backed securities markets. Different set of products, different buyers, but the same mindsets, same cultures, same motivation – greed. One man’s opinion.

How does this relate to Gladney or adoption or families or children ? It doesn’t. It just feels good to vent.

Surprises

2009-02-23T17:42:00.000-08:00

Adoption – now there’s a feel-good story. Everybody wins, everybody’s happy, right ? Well, like just about everything else in life, it’s not that simple.

I am frequently asked what has surprised me the most about the move from the corporate world to the non-profit arena. And my answer may surprise you ! I have discovered that the adoption field has its share of controversy.

Nowhere is this truer than in international adoption (what we now call inter-country adoption). Most developing countries do not allow inter-country adoption or they make the rules so restrictive as to have the same effect. This is partly because they don’t want to be seen in the community of nations as unable to care for their own, although frequently they cannot.

The controversy around inter-country adoption is even more deep-seated, however. In many nations, inter-country adoption is viewed as baby selling / child trafficking. On the surface, this sounds ridiculous, because our perspective is that we Americans are simply trying to provide homes and opportunities for disadvantaged orphans.

It turns out that there are a number of bad actors out there who are in fact simply looking to profit from inter-country adoption. This is disgusting, to say the least.

So how can you tell when your agency or facilitator is doing the right thing ? One way is to understand their commitment to the countries where they are working. How invested are they emotionally and financially ?

At the Gladney Center for Adoption, we raise substantial sums of money each year in humanitarian aid to improve the quality of life for the children left behind in every country where we operate. We focus attention as well on the children who are about to age out of the orphanages, not because there is any benefit to us, but because it’s the right thing to do. At Gladney, we seek to impact 100 children left behind for every one child who finds a permanent family.

Another way to determine that your agency or facilitator is doing the right thing is to understand their priorities. In every country where Gladney works, our priorities are 1) family preservation, 2) domestic (in-country) adoption, and then 3) inter-country adoption.

We are not alone. Several other leading agencies share these priorities and share in our desire to invest in the countries where we work. Collaborating with the “good actors”, working with the Joint Council and National Council for Adoption in their advocacy roles, and all under the umbrella of the Hague Convention regulations, we can weed out those who attempt to profit from suffering and improve the perception of inter-country adoption, so that it is widely recognized for the good intentions and positive work of the majority.

A Tribute to Birthmothers

2009-02-11T07:22:00.000-08:00

It is not uncommon for anyone who has been touched by adoption to refer to “the courage of birthmothers”. But what does this really mean ? As a 53-year old man, it’s somewhat difficult to identify with a young woman experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, but I’ll give it a try.

After she gets over the initial shock of discovering she’s pregnant, she is faced with a very difficult choice. Society (and maybe friends and family) tell her to take the easy way out – abort and move on with your life. Her own heart may tell her initially that she can parent; that she can somehow make it work. But ultimately she decides to make the most selfless decision imaginable – putting the interests of her baby ahead of her own. She takes the high road – and this is courage.

She goes through the pregnancy – putting her life on hold for 9 months; getting sick; enduring stares; perhaps creating distance with friends – and for what ? So she can eventually place her baby in the arms of a couple who is not able to conceive, but is ready and able to parent. To persevere through pregnancy and delivery must take great courage. (Courage isn’t lack of fear. Courage is facing the fear of the unknown and moving forward anyway. I imagine any woman about to deliver her first baby qualifies as facing the fear of the unknown.)

And then she comes to the most painful moment – relinquishment. What must that be like ? She’s carried this baby for 9 months. She’s felt it kick. She’s completely re-oriented her life around her baby only to get to the point where she relinquishes. She leaves the hospital empty-handed. Here, I can identify a bit. As Rebecca and I struggled years ago to have a family, our biggest setback was the delivery of a still-born girl we named Jessie. The pain was enormous and the most difficult moment of all was wheeling Rebecca out of the hospital carrying flowers in her arms rather than our baby. We didn’t choose this, but birthmothers do. Birthmothers probably understand sacrifice better than any of us. (And courage is built upon sacrifice.)

And then the final stage – the months after delivery. Again, through our experience with Jessie, we can identify somewhat. People all around you offer well-meaning, but often misguided, words of advice. Usually along the lines of: “you’ll be fine; now it’s time to move on”. Well, it’s not time to move on. It’s time to grieve. And facing your grief takes courage.

I want to encourage everyone, especially us adoptive parents, to make sure that when we applaud the courage of our birthmothers that we don’t do it lightly, that we really think through everything that their courage entails – from their initial choice to the ultimate letting go associated with the grieving process.

Rebecca and I are forever grateful for the courage of Phillip’s and Hayden’s birthmothers. Our experience is multiplied thousands of times over each year. So, we celebrate the 2 birthmothers who changed our lives and the countless others who through their acts of selfless courage have given to so many the gifts of families.

Ambassadors

2009-01-28T10:05:00.000-08:00

Ambassador – That sounds like a great job. I want to be the US Ambassador to Bermuda or Luxembourg or Barbados.

When I was in New York, I volunteered with the Christian Mission to the United Nations and had the opportunity to meet with hundreds of Ambassadors over a 10-year period. I saw up close what characterizes a good, effective Ambassador – men and women who:

> love their country and are deeply committed to it
> have the authority to speak for their governments back home
> effectively communicate their country’s history, present-day challenges and future vision
> advocate for their national interest

So, what would it take to be an effective Ambassador for Gladney ? The same characteristics:

> love, commitment, passion for the organization
> authority from home base to speak on Gladney’s behalf (You’ve got that !)
> a desire to be an advocate – to spread the good word about adoption and Gladney

When you see a good movie, you become an Ambassador for it. You want to tell people about it. How much more compelling is it for you to be an Ambassador for the organization that helped you complete your family ?

There are a myriad of ways to be an Ambassador for Gladney, most revolving around sharing your story with others. Josh and Amy Bottomly have told their moving story in a book titled: “From Ashes to Africa”. I couldn’t put it down. It's a must-read for couples considering, or going through, the adoption process.

We’re all Ambassadors for the things that really matter to us.

Competition or Collaboration ?

2009-01-21T17:08:00.000-08:00

One of the challenges I have faced in the transition from the financial services world to the non-profit arena is reconsidering the appropriate balance between competition and collaboration. When I worked for Citibank and Price Waterhouse, competition was intense. It was a zero-sum game. We win; you lose, or vice versa.

Soon after I arrived at Gladney, I heard that placements had declined at another leading agency. My immediate reaction was: “Yes !” but I quickly caught myself and realized this was misguided. Fewer placements at any agency means fewer families created and fewer children helped. That’s not an outcome I or anyone would want to see. The cliché “a rising tide lifts all boats” applies.

As international adoption has become more competitive due to a shrinking market, Gladney has sought out other agencies with similar values in an effort to collaborate within legal and ethical boundaries. If well-intentioned agencies can work together to improve the practices in international adoption, everyone wins.

So, are we competitors or collaborators ? Well, both. We want to work together collegially, but I still want Gladney to be the best !

Perseverance

2009-01-13T07:01:00.000-08:00

Football teams talk about building for success around their quarterback or perhaps their defensive line or linebackers. If you could build your life around 3 or 4 key character traits, which ones would you choose ? Many of us would probably start with integrity, the basis of our reputations.

Another character trait that would be among my cornerstones is perseverance. I think people who persevere are attractive and stories of perseverance are inspirational. Examples of those who persevere abound – war heroes battling against all odds (the men at Normandy and Iwo Jima), sports teams that refuse to quit (“Remember the Titans”), people unwavering in their focus to accomplish a mission (Hilary conquering Mt Everest), families fighting together against a loved one’s illness. Even more attractive than those who persevere are those who persevere with grace, with quiet dignity, yet steely in their determination.

Sometimes the most compelling stories of perseverance are those of ordinary people struggling with the challenges of life. And that brings us to adoption. Adoptive parents persevere – usually with grace, not always quiet, but certainly determined. In most cases, adoptive parents have endured the pokes, prods and other indignities associated with infertility treatments, more often than not resulting in a devastating monthly report card. These disappointments can be compounded by pregnancies that end in miscarriages. Few things crush the spirit more than a blank sonogram. Eventually adoptive couples move on – to Plan B. They (we, since I’m an adoptive father) look back with perfect hindsight and see Plan B as Plan A.

But to be clear, the adoption process is not a picnic while you’re going through it. Even if things go as smoothly as possible, it’s still a rollercoaster of emotions – a sense that things are out of your control because they are and an excruciating wait that seems to last forever. By the time a couple has become an adoptive parent, they have undoubtedly persevered. Perseverance is a bond we share. And in a strange, unforeseen way, we are doubly blessed – we build family and we build our character. Paul’s letter to the Romans tells us: “suffering produces endurance; endurance produces character; character produces hope; and hope does not disappoint us.”

My father was not one to give a lot of advice and he was not exactly a patron of the arts. He did, however, have one poem that he liked a lot and it’s filled with advice from a father to a son – Rudyard Kipling’s “If”. It’s about level-headedness, balance, quiet confidence, humility and perseverance.

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Likes and Dislikes

2009-01-03T12:49:00.000-08:00

Have you ever made a list of your likes and dislikes ? Do it and let me know how your list compares to mine:

Likes:

Dr Pepper – not Diet Dr Pepper or Mr Pibb

Gruene Dance Hall, Gristmill Restaurant and floating the Guadalupe

The fact that the greatest moment in baseball history is a 1939 speech – Lou Gehrig’s “luckiest man alive” speech (two years before he died)

People who are in church because they want to be

The Air Force motto – “Integrity First; Service Before Self; and Excellence in Everything”

The 20 minutes before a UT home football game, where you join with 98,000 other burnt orange-clad fanatics and sing “The Eyes of Texas”, “Texas Fight”, "Deep in the Heart of Texas”, watch ‘em roll out the huge, most recognizable state flag, and see the video clips from the Horns’ national championship seasons. The game hadn’t even kicked off and I’ve already got my money’s worth.

Driving with no destination, purpose and especially, no map. Willing to get lost just to have a little adventure. Like Abraham, who “went out, not knowing where he was going”.

The first round of the NCAA basketball tournament - the upset round

Humility

Loyalty

Integrity

Candor

Perseverance

Breakfast at a New England country inn

People of conviction; people who have the courage to “stand in the gap”

Politicians who lead with humility and a servant’s heart – I’m drawing a blank here…ok, Nelson Mandela. Let me know if you think of another one.

The right kind of country music – you know it when you hear it.

Dislikes:

Ice cream squeezed out of a machine – it’s not ice cream

The BCS – I hate it

Partisan politics – I have voted for candidates whose positions I disagree with if they have shown the guts to vote against their party; in other words, to vote their conscience

Playing not to lose – don’t bother playing

Sloth – what a wonderfully descriptive word. It just sounds slothful.

Hot chocolate made with water

The Electoral College – almost as messed up as the BCS

The middle seat, with people on either side invading my space

Robert Mugabe – stronger emotion than mere dislike for a man who has plundered his country for his own personal gain and ignored the cries of starving children and others who are dying of preventable diseases. I’m convinced there is a just God and that Mugabe and his ilk will be the recipients of God’s justice.

To close on a positive note, I’ll toss out a few more likes:

An early morning ski run

The first crisp day of autumn

People who live from the inside out

People who run toward risk

People who don’t settle

So, are we on the same page or not ?

New Year's Resolutions

2008-12-28T16:58:00.000-08:00

Don’t do it ! Every year about this time, many of us take a look back at the year about to close and a look ahead to the new year. Some make a list of things they’re going to accomplish or change; others don’t. My take is that we usually set ourselves up for failure. We think if we can just grit our teeth a little harder, we’ll make it work this time.

It may be just the opposite of gritting our teeth. It may be that the way to go is to loose our grip, exhale, relax, slow down, don’t sweat the small stuff, focus on what matters (people), and maintain an eternal perspective.

If you are inclined toward resolutions, give yourself a break and make them achievable. Rather than say “I’m going to lose 50 pounds or exercise every day for 365 days”, tell yourself “I’m going to exercise 3 times a week in January and see if the habit sticks”. Rather than say “I’m going to read the Bible (or other inspirational book) every day for 15 minutes whether I feel like it or not”, why not give yourself a little flexibility and accomplish about the same thing – “I’m going to read the book of Genesis in January”. Build on small successes.

Another approach (borrowed from Lou Holtz in a Wall Street Journal article from about 20 years ago) – Don’t focus so much on the coming year as on the rest of your life. What are the 100 things you want to do or see before you die ? I did make out a list back then. Without being too anal, I’ve probably gotten about halfway through it. It included world travel and signature sporting events, most of which I’ve done, to more time-consuming aspirations, like writing a book or teaching a college course, which I have not done. One item was to live in or near a world-class city. So when the opportunity arose in ’95 to move to the New York area, this list was somewhat influential in the decision to take the plunge.

It’s all about balance. There is value in goal-setting and list-making as long as they don’t become obsessions.

What are your New Year’s resolutions ? What’s on your list of 100 ?

Christmas

2008-12-21T19:47:00.000-08:00

I want to wish everyone ______ _______. I think the debate here over words has been overblown. What matters is the sentiment behind the words. I acknowledge the tension – writing openly about my Christian faith while not imposing it on anyone. This reflects the wider debate in our society – how faith is exercised publicly without infringing on the rights of those who don’t share common views.

As a Christian, I offer a sincere wish to my non-Christian friends and colleagues for a joyful, peaceful, relaxing, memorable, fun-filled holiday time with family and friends. That’s my same wish for my Christian friends and colleagues. Additionally, we share in the celebration of the birth of Christ, who is the centerpiece of our faith.

I believe the Bible has two fundamental, inter-related themes – God’s zealous pursuit of the hearts of men and women, and Christ’s life on earth as the culmination of this pursuit. Christ is referred to as the Alpha and Omega. He is with God, the Father, at creation, when God says “Let us make man in our own image.” And Scripture closes with a plea for Christ to return. In between….

Isaiah prophesies about the suffering servant. The gospel of Matthew says that He taught as one who had authority. While He lived humbly, He did not hesitate to say who He was: “I am the way, the truth and the life.” “I am the living water; whoever drinks of the water I give him will never thirst.” “Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” He was crucified between two criminals, one of whom mocked Him and one of whom pleaded: “remember me”, maybe the greatest split-second decision in history.

What does Paul say about Christ ? “Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but instead emptied Himself.”

The author of Hebrews says: “God, after He spoke long ago to the fathers in the prophets in many portions and in many ways, in these last days has spoken to us in His son.”

This is the One whose birth my family and I will celebrate on December 25.

The World

2008-12-13T09:16:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it takes a while for that light bulb above our heads to turn on. I was at a conference in 1993 with hundreds of other Citibankers from all corners of the globe. The background theme song throughout was Louie Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World”. I was 38 at the time and had spent most of my life bounded by the Sabine, Rio Grande and Red Rivers. But I got to wondering if Louie was right – what if it is a wonderful world and because of my limited perspective, I’ve only tasted the tiniest sliver. So I set out to investigate.

It turns out Louie is right. People in every country share similar hopes and fears. They dream similar dreams for their children. They welcome strangers. Like Americans, people the world over are deeply patriotic and when you visit their countries and experience their cultures, you understand why.

These similarities mask one major difference – resources. The US accounts for roughly 25% of world GDP, but only about 5% of its population. We are blessed simply by virtue of our birthplace. How we choose to respond defines us as individuals and as a country. Our government doesn’t do too well, irrespective of which party is in power, but I’ll save that for a future blog.

I believe a Rwandan life or a Peruvian life or a Ukrainian life is equal to an American life in God’s eyes. Do you agree ?

And while we have poverty in the US, it pales in comparison to that found in the developing world, whose governments are frequently unable to provide the basics. No safety nets exist.

Personally and professionally, I want my effort to go where I can have maximum impact and encourage others to do the same. So who are the most marginalized, who are those without any hope that we can impact ? One of these groups is undoubtedly the world’s 143,000,000 orphans. We can make a difference – one orphan at a time; one orphanage at a time; one country at a time until there are no more orphans.

Can any one of us change the world ? Absolutely yes, although we can be even more effective when we band together. Why do I readily say “yes” to a question that often elicits skepticism ? Because we don’t usually see the ripple effect of what we do. Maybe the orphan you support today will one day lead his or her country and will do so with compassion and vision because of your generosity.

Russell Crowe captured this sentiment well in the movie, Master and Commander - “What we do in this life echoes throughout eternity.”

Stewardship

2008-12-07T19:07:00.000-08:00

When we hear the word “stewardship”, our first inclination may be to run for the hills. For many of us, it calls to mind the annual sermon on tithing. Several pastors weave in the importance of being good stewards of our time, gifts and talents, as well as our money. This is a positive and balanced way to look at stewardship, but I’d like to take it another step.

I view myself as the steward of my life; not necessarily the owner. In fact, the Apostle Paul reminds us: “You are not your own.” This may sound like nonsense to some, but to me it makes perfect sense. If we are simply the stewards of our lives, we see our lives as a gift. With that mindset, we should live for bigger purposes than ourselves, be other-centered, seek to live sacrificially, and be more motivated to make each day count. “Sacrificial” may also sound like nonsense; it sounds painful. But I think sacrifice is the secret to joy.

I digress, but I guess I can do that in my own blog. Back to stewardship.

So, how does stewardship relate to parenting, and more specifically, to being adoptive parents ? I see my wife and me in a stewardship role with respect to our three kids, who are now 21, 17 and 15. We have been given a gift; three gifts, in fact, and with these gifts, a responsibility to prepare them for life, hopefully from a balanced blend of love and discipline. We play this stewardship role for about 18 years and then our kids are unleashed to the world. By God’s grace, our mistakes are covered and our kids confidently transition to independence and to the opportunity to reach their full potential. We transition as well – from parents and stewards to counselors and friends.

Is it different with adopted kids and biological kids ? We have two adopted and one biological, so I do have a perspective. Yes and no. There’s no difference in terms of seeing each one of our three kids as gifts, as unique and equal gifts. However, two were handed to us in a very sudden fashion as nicely wrapped bundles versus the nine-month wait to deliver a baby who was pretty discolored and messy looking in the first few minutes of his life. (No offense, Sam.) Simply from the first visual and physical contact, the way a baby or older child enters one’s family via adoption may make it easier to embrace the notion of him or her as a gift. And if that’s the case, it may in turn be more comfortable to view your parental role as one of stewardship.

I encourage all of us to apply the concept of stewardship more broadly. Among other benefits, it frees us up to be responsible for the process, but puts the results in the hands of the one who gave us these gifts in the first place.

Passion

2008-11-30T21:09:00.000-08:00

Timing is everything. As I now post just my second blog, I read Michael Kinsley’s essay in the December 1 issue of TIME where he asks: “How many blogs does the world need ? There is already blog gridlock.” This is consistent with me entering the stock market at its peak. When I get in, that’s a signal for everyone else to get out. However, now that I’ve taken the blog plunge, I plan to stick around for awhile. So…..

Do you have any regrets ? I try not to dwell on the past; I like to call to mind Satchel Paige’s advice: “Don’t look back; someone might be gaining on you.” Nonetheless, I do have two regrets. The first is that I didn’t spend a year after college traveling the world.

The second regret is that I didn’t start to think about passion until I was in my 40’s. The other side of the coin is that I am grateful that I started thinking about passion in my 40’s rather than my 60’s, 70’s or never.

I am passionate about family and about vulnerable children around the world – society’s marginalized; Jesus’s “the least of these”. To lead the Gladney Center for Adoption into the next decade is such a humbling and awesome opportunity for me, because now I wake up every day, and my passion and my job are one and the same.

In the movie “Braveheart”, Mel Gibson screams one word before he dies – “freedom”. If you were to scream one word (a noun, not a name) at the end of your life, what would it be ? For me, it would be “passion”.

Besides figuring out what we are passionate about, I think we are also called to live passionately. What does this look like ? It involves risk – it means purposely placing yourself in situations that aren’t always comfortable; that cause you to reach beyond yourself.

Tim McGraw’s song encourages us to “Live Like You’re Dying”. Good advice, since it applies to all of us. Our days are numbered. Maybe in order to live passionately, the question to be asked is: How do you want to die ? I want to die broke, having just given away my last dollar. I hope to die with no regrets. (I’m gaining ground on the two I mentioned previously.) I want to die with scars and bumps and bruises because I went into uncomfortable places. I want to collapse at the finish line, with no gas left in the tank.

Let me know if these thoughts resonate with you.

2008-11-20T10:35:00.000-08:00

With these comments, I am entering the blogosphere. My intent is to write a weekly blog that I hope fellow-travelers will find interesting and relevant. It’s kind of scary - like buying a stock online for the first time or using eBay.

As Thanksgiving is just around the corner, I want to reflect on gratitude. Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday – Football, Food and Family. Wait… I mean Family, Football and Food. It’s a time to take a step back and acknowledge all that we have to be grateful for.

The opposite of gratitude could well be entitlement. As our kids get older, they may express their sense of entitlement - to a certain vacation or a car or the latest cell phone or iPod. But if I’m honest, I feel entitled, too. I’ve worked hard and basically stayed out of trouble. Life must owe me something. Well, I’ve learned it really doesn’t.

Chuck Swindoll reminds us that we are not in control of our circumstances, but we are in charge of our attitudes. Starting with myself, I’d like to encourage each one of us to have grateful attitudes. Hey, people say life isn’t fair and I agree ! It isn’t fair that I was born in America, have a wonderful family and never have to worry about food on the table when over a billion people around the world struggle to survive on less than a dollar a day. It’s sobering to travel to the least developed countries and see what “less than a dollar a day” really looks like.

An attitude of gratitude enables us to live from the inside out, allowing a grateful heart to release us from being captive to our circumstances. Such an attitude compels us to give back. This Thanksgiving, as we dwell on our blessings, let’s go beyond acknowledgement to response. We are indeed blessed to be a blessing to others, especially those without a voice – orphans, the homeless, the poor and destitute.

I think this mindset can apply to organizations as well as individuals. The Gladney Center has been blessed in so many ways during our 120 year history. And we strive to give back – both to our communities and to the world. In countries where we work, we are just as focused on helping children who will not find permanent homes as those who will. As you think about your response to your blessings this Thanksgiving, please consider joining Gladney on our journey to positively impact children’s lives all over the world. It’s an exhilarating and urgent adventure.